Corporate Retreats I'd Like to See

Ever wonder where top executives get together for high-level meetings or corporate retreats? (We don't have to wonder about AIG after its well publicized taxpayer-sponsored shindig a couple of weeks ago.) Well, the folks at Hideaways International have an idea. They "hide executives away so that they can plan their company's next corporate takeover, brainstorm for a new product line or outline next year's business plan."

The travel specialists there organize retreats for company CEOs and presidents in ultra-private and exclusive locations:

• Private islands. Hope there are clothing-mandatory beaches.
  
• Elite villas. Each titan of industry with a crown of his own.
  
• Exclusive inns. I see Larry, Darryl and Darryl in tuxedos.
  
• Luxury cruise ships or private yachts. Lots of calf-high black socks and white deck shoes.
  
• Adventure getaways. Plenty of next-day sore muscles and agonizing leg cramps.

While it's easy to see top-level executives at places normal people couldn't gain access to, I got to thinking about business barons and the settings I'd like to see them in just once for an ultra-important meeting.

• Real Estate Mogul Donald Trump--The house I grew up in (7 people, 1 bathroom)
  
• Focus on the Family Founder James Dobson--Playboy Mansion
  
• Skin-Magazine Pioneer Hugh Hefner--Focus on the Family headquarters
  
• Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig--The upper deck of any stadium during a rain delay
  
• CEOs of the Big Three Automakers--On any rush-hour-clogged L.A. freeway in the fastest car any of them makes
  
• Home-Everything Maven Martha Stewart--A state-sponsored hospitality facility bereft of windows and any other luxury items...wait...
  
• Celebrity Chefs Emeril, Bobby Flay, Wolfgang Puck, Mario Batali--Chuck E. Cheese (complete with birthday seranade)

Anyone else wanna send an executive somewhere nice?