From the August 1999 issue of Entrepreneur

Some advertising efforts don't just ask for a testimonial headline, they plead, pray and practically wail for one. Consider this a response to those entreaties in the case of a postcard submitted for a makeover by Bob McEntee of Huntington Station, New York.

McEntee is a magician whose business, Magic Beyond Imagination!, puts on educational magic programs for elementary-school assemblies. He asks what he can do to his promotional postcard to increase response from schools. My answer is to get a school principal to give him an endorsement to use at the top of his postcard. These cards will be sent to other principals in the area, and a thumbs-up testimonial from one of their colleagues is going to grab their attention better than the headline he's now using. McEntee currently relies on anonymous plaudits at the bottom of the card, but they don't have nearly the impact that an endorsing headline with an attribution would.

Graphically, I'd get rid of the grainy photo and replace it with any of a number of images that symbolize magic, or even a photo of "Jasper the Wonder-Cat," who is part of McEntee's show. I do applaud the magician for using affordable postcards to do his soliciting. This medium can be very effective if the message and the mailing list are right on.

As you can see, I've slotted in a suggested testimonial headline in the makeover, revised the graphic and spiffed up the sales copy a bit. This should enable both the message and the medium to work their magic.

Some advertising efforts don't just ask for a testimonial headline, they plead, pray and practically wail for one. Consider this a response to those entreaties in the case of a postcard submitted for a makeover by Bob McEntee of Huntington Station, New York.

McEntee is a magician whose business, Magic Beyond Imagination!, puts on educational magic programs for elementary-school assemblies. He asks what he can do to his promotional postcard to increase response from schools. My answer is to get a school principal to give him an endorsement to use at the top of his postcard. These cards will be sent to other principals in the area, and a thumbs-up testimonial from one of their colleagues is going to grab their attention better than the headline he's now using. McEntee currently relies on anonymous plaudits at the bottom of the card, but they don't have nearly the impact that an endorsing headline with an attribution would.

Graphically, I'd get rid of the grainy photo and replace it with any of a number of images that symbolize magic, or even a photo of "Jasper the Wonder-Cat," who is part of McEntee's show. I do applaud the magician for using affordable postcards to do his soliciting. This medium can be very effective if the message and the mailing list are right on.

As you can see, I've slotted in a suggested testimonial headline in the makeover, revised the graphic and spiffed up the sales copy a bit. This should enable both the message and the medium to work their magic.

Before:

Postcards are a great, affordable way to spread the word to your prospects, but busy photos like this can end up looking grainy.

1. The headline should tout skills rather than memories.

2.A dozen anonymous plaudits are not as good as one solid testimonial with an attribution.



After:

Another option for the visual would be illustrated head of Bob and Jasper the Wonder-Cat popping our of the hat together.

1. The new headline is a testimonial from a principal - a good choice for a postcard that goes to other schol principals.

2. The visual employs a magician's prop(a top hat) but gets attention from the illustration Jasper the wonder-Cat.




Jerry Fisher is an advertising copywriter, consultant and author of Creating Successful Small Business Advertising ($39.95), available by calling (800) 247-6553. If you'd like Jerry to consider your materials for a makeover in this column, send them to "Ad Workshop," Entrepreneur, 2392 Morse Ave., Irvine, CA 92614, or e-mail him at Jerry228@aol.com

Contact Source

Magic Beyond Imagination!,9 Birch Dr., Huntington Station, NY 11746, (516)549-6842.