Mind Over Manners
What you need to know to make a great impression at your next business meal
URL:
http://www.entrepreneur.com/magazine/entrepreneur/2003/may/61154.html
Do your palms sweat when you think about hosting a business
meal? Do you shrink in terror at the idea of holding the right
fork? Do you know what the proper seating arrangements are? With so
many rules to keep straight, we went to Dana May Casperson,
business etiquette expert and author of Power Etiquette: What
You Don't Know Can Kill Your Career (Amacom), for practical
tips to help you clear your worries clean off the table.
Before you even get to the restaurant, advises Casperson, have a
few topics of conversation ready. An interesting tidbit about
yourself can be a great opener, for example. "Plan some
questions you can ask, because people like to talk about
themselves," she says. Because it's improper to talk
business until after the entrée dishes are cleared, make sure
you're ready to discuss current events, good movies, business
books and the like before and during the meal.
The right outfit is essential to any business lunch, dinner or
tea. For daytime meals, typical businesswear is appropriate (unless
your daily attire is super casual, in which case you should step it
up). In the evening, you should dress a bit more formally, though
this can vary depending on the restaurant you choose. Casperson
also recommends wearing an eye-catching tie or lapel pin to help
spark conversation. "Wear something interesting up near your
face," she suggests. "People will remember you."
Generally, seat your most important guest to your right. And if
you've invited your guests, you're the host, adds
Casperson. Make it clear upfront that you'll be paying. A quick
statement before you sit down can avoid awkwardness at the end of
the meal. Simply say, "You'll be my company's guest
today." You can even arrange to pay the tab in advance or at
least ask the wait staff to bring you the check.
Avoid ordering alcoholic drinks, because some companies frown on
mixing business with alcohol. (If you are in the wine business,
however, it would be appropriate.) After the entrée is
cleared, it's time to start talking business. Now's the
time to take out papers and other documents--but keep them out of
sight until then. Offer your guests coffee and dessert (it's OK
to discuss business while enjoying these).
"Remember," says Casperson, "what people see
across the table, how they see you handling your knife and fork, is
how they see you handling business."
| ASK
JEEVES |
- What do I do if
my fork or napkin falls onto the floor? If your fork
falls, use your foot to move it under the table and motion to the
waiter to bring you another fork. If your napkin falls, you may
pick it up unless you have to disappear from sight to reach it. In
that case, ask for another one.
- Where should I
keep my cell phone? Keep it in your purse or
briefcase--with the ringer turned off. If you are expecting an
absolutely urgent call, be sure to make your guests aware of it at
the beginning of the meal. Then, when your phone rings, excuse
yourself from the table and keep your conversation
brief.
- Who orders
first? Your guest generally orders first.
- What should I do
if the check is put in front of my guest? Ask for the
check, or reach for the check first. Make a comment to the effect
that "You're my company's guest
today."
- What if I need
to blow my nose? If you have a bit of a sniffle, you may
dab your nose with your napkin. But if you have to blow it, excuse
yourself and go to the restroom.
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