Teaching by Example
Mothers and daughters discuss the impact of entrepreneurship on their relationships.
URL:
http://www.entrepreneur.com/magazine/entrepreneur/2003/december/65554.html
As women entrepreneurs continue to make giant strides in
business, they strive to be positive role models to their children,
particularly their daughters. Here, two business owners and their
daughters speak candidly about their relationships and how
entrepreneurship fits in.
"When the school would call and tell me I had to pick
[Laurel] up because she was sick, I sometimes had to set up a
sleeping bag in my office for her to rest on until I could go home.
She remembers these things as 'normal' and does not feel
slighted, while I reflect upon them with a great deal of
guilt," recounts Yvonne Tocquigny, 48, president of Tocquigny
Advertising, Interactive and Marketing, a $5 million firm in
Austin, Texas.
Growing up along with Tocquigny's 23-year-old company, her
daughter, Laurel Pantin, "saw the struggle of my
entrepreneurship as a limit to our freedom," Tocquigny says.
"She saw me tired and worn down many times. But she also saw
the positive side-the celebrations of our success, the parties in
our home for employees, and the happiness it gave me when the
business was working."
"Since I was a little girl, I have always imagined [my
mother] as a superhero in a little black suit, taking on the
problems of the office and stunning the clients with her superhuman
creativity and intelligence," says Laurel, now 17. "[She]
is a major role model to me because she was able to do everything
she has done on her own."
"I try to be a [good] role model by living a life that
demonstrates that anything is possible," says Marjorie Brody,
58-year-old founder of $2 million-plus Brody Communications Ltd., a
business training and executive coaching firm in Jenkintown,
Pennsylvania. "As a single parent, [my daughter] saw that I
was excited about what I was doing. And it afforded a lifestyle we
would not have been able to afford otherwise. The downside was that
she saw I was working a lot and was not always available to do the
things she wanted to do."
"I have always
imagined my mother as a superhero in a little black suit, taking on
the problems of the office."
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"I remember my mom talking about work all the time,"
says Brody's 28-year-old daughter, Julie Muchnick, an
environmental consultant. "I remember her wanting to talk
about projects, although I wasn't always interested!" Now
that she is an adult, Muchnick has a greater appreciation of what
her mother has accomplished. "I think she's awesome. I
don't see her in everyday deals, but I see what she has
created, and it is inspiring."
While both mothers and daughters describe their relationships as
strong and positive, they are also open about the challenges. For
Tocquigny, being too consumed by her business was a problem in the
past, leading her to spend too little time connecting with her
daughter. "I sometimes had a difficult time adjusting to the
slower, gentler pace of home and was impatient and less nurturing
than I should have been," she says. Tocquigny says having a
business coach for the past year and a half has helped her better
balance work and parenting.
Brody, for her part, admits her daughter may have been resentful
of the time she spent nurturing younger employees at the business.
And she acknowledges that she tends to "over-advise"
Muchnick, who says, "[I wish she would] sit back a little more
and let me live my life and make my own mistakes."
Though both daughters spent time helping out at their
mothers' businesses, neither plans to work for her mother.
"It's not that I don't want to be in the family
business," says Muchnick, "but I've got to do what
I've got to do-find my own passion." Perhaps that's
the biggest lesson an entrepreneurial mother can pass on to her
daughter.
Aliza Pilar Sherman (www.mediaegg.com) is an author, freelance
writer and speaker specializing in women's issues.
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