Speak Up
Is interrupting a good business tactic, or just plain rude?
URL:
http://www.entrepreneur.com/magazine/entrepreneur/2005/november/80468.html
From a young age, most women are taught to be polite in
conversation, but how do these manners translate in a dynamic
business conversation, especially in mixed company? Should women
learn how to interrupt to be heard?
"I'm an excellent interrupter," says Cathy G.
Lanier, 48, president of Technology Solutions Inc., a $2
million-plus software development and consulting firm in Columbia,
South Carolina. "I tend to go with the ebb and flow of
meetings and am pretty good at timing my interruptions so they
don't seem overly rude or pushy. I've never left a meeting
where I didn't get my opinions out there for review."
Lanier admits she doesn't always wait for an opening, but she
tries not to step on others too much.
Social conditioning has dictated that interrupting is bad
manners. In business, women often look at interrupting as wrong and
apologize when they do it, while men use interrupting as a tactic
to make themselves heard. So is interrupting rude? Amy Woodward
Parrish, 36, partner and chief marketing officer of Cohn, Overstreet &
Parrish, a multichannel marketing firm in Atlanta, doesn't
think so.
"I don't intend to be rude--just productive,"
explains Woodward Parrish. Running a million-dollar enterprise
means making sure you're heard in a meeting. "And when I
want a conversation to go a different direction, I can usually
encourage the client or team member to move toward a different
subject without them realizing I'm doing it."
Woodward Parrish does believe other women can get frustrated
with "interrupting women," because they aren't
accustomed to women playing that role in a meeting.
But what if someone is using interruptions as a strategy to
sabotage you? Kendra Todd, one of the competitors on the reality TV
show The Apprentice, endured constant interruptions from a
male competitor who used the power struggle to try to unnerve her.
She persevered and became the first woman to be hired by Donald
Trump at the end of the show's third season. She advises women
entrepreneurs to be among the first people to speak up in the
room--engage in conversation early to be seen as an initiator vs. a
spectator. Also, use few words. To get your point across, hone your
pitch, and speak as concisely as possible.
Media coach and marketing strategist Susan Harrow, CEO of
PRsecrets.com
and author of Sell Yourself Without Selling Your Soul,
has this advice for getting heard:
1. Learn the right techniques. Saying, "I'm not
finished yet," or holding up your hand as a stop sign can be
effective ways of getting your point across when the going gets
tough.
2. Think sparring match. Men aren't interrupting to
be impolite--they are testing you. Are you credible? Can you stand
up to criticism? Can you prove your point? Don't be afraid to
give as good as you get.
Says Lanier, "In the South, rudeness is not accepted, so my
interruptions are sometimes couched in humor to give a softer edge,
but my points get across."
Copyright ©
2009 Entrepreneur Media, Inc. All rights reserved.
Privacy Policy