How we negotiate reflects our respect for the customer and how
deeply we care about the life of that relationship. Too often
salespeople and entrepreneurs listen to bad advice about hard-core
negotiating tactics. In reality, those who are peak performers at
negotiating show a lot of style and grace under pressure--something
their co-negotiators remember and appreciate.
Here's some negotiating advice from me and some legends in
the art.
1. Be prepared. Always go into a negotiation well-rested.
Long, drawn-out meetings--or, worse, negotiating over the long haul
for several months--are exhausting. Make it a rule that you're
not allowed to get exhausted. If you do, take a powder for a
while.
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The person with energy has the will to continue. Do everything
in your power not to weaken your position by losing energy. Notre
Dame football coach Lou Holtz puts it brilliantly: "Nobody
quits unless they think they are not going to be successful. When
someone is running in a marathon, as long as he thinks he is going
to finish, he will continue. It is only when he starts thinking he
is not going to make it that he will quit before he completely
exhausts himself."
I know for a fact I am one weak sister when I am tired. Fatigue
stops the positive thoughts necessary for good negotiations.
That's why, the day before every negotiation, I make sure to
eat well, watch my alcohol intake and get eight hours' sleep.
This ensures I'm in top mental and physical condition, and that
my head is clear to negotiate successfully. Things go better for me
when I walk into the deal just plain feeling good.
2. Remember, it's only a game. Herb Cohen,
America's great negotiator and author of You Can Negotiate
Anything (Audio Renaissance), says, "Negotiation is just a
game. You care about the outcome, but not that much."
That's one reason I rarely negotiate for my own public speaking
fees with a client. I'm too emotionally attached and sensitive
when it comes to representing myself. It's easy to take an
unbiased position when representing somebody else's money,
time, family, product, service or even career, but when it hits
close to home, it is no longer a game.
The more emotionally attached we become to an outcome, the
harder we try to get our way. Pretty soon we begin to lose our
perspective. It's important to stay neutral.
3. Don't take a hard-and-fast position. When you
start negotiating, remind yourself that you want this agreement to
work satisfactorily for everyone involved. If you take a position
that says, "Either this goes my way or it's not
going," you could end up very sorry. I have seen salespeople
do their customers a terrible injustice by using this ploy.
How do you deal with people who try to force you to take a
position? Refuse to negotiate with them. Remain calm and mature no
matter how they try to beat you down. Once a prospect said to me,
"Either you throw in 10 sets of workbooks with this video
system or I won't do business with you."
As soon as I hear "Either you do this or else," I step
in and stop the game. "I would love to work with you, but it
doesn't sound like it could work right now." Notice I
haven't said anything offensive. Because this type of
individual may be looking for trouble, you must weigh your words
carefully and get them out of your way fast.
4. Be prepared to walk away. I repeat: Negotiating is a
game, and if you don't care about the outcome that much, you
can detach yourself from the situation and walk away. The purest
negotiations occur when you have plenty of other prospects in the
pipeline and plenty of money in the bank.
If an inflexible customer is the only customer you have going
for you, it can be difficult to negotiate objectively.
"Control of the negotiation lies with the party who is
perceived to need the deal the least," says expert negotiator
and sales consultant Barry Elms.
The older I get, the more I realize how important it is not to
want something too badly. The more alternatives I can come up with,
the better off I am. When you care the least at the negotiating
table, you have the most strength.
Most people feel they have either failed or walked away from an
opportunity when they turn something down, says Joanna Tamer,
president of Los Angeles-based S.O.S. Inc., a consulting firm for
new media developers, publishers, distributors and retailers. But
in reality, says Tamer, "there is no shortage of opportunity.
If you say yes to something, whether it turns out to be good or
bad, you still have to say no to the next thing that comes along
because you have already filled that space."
Tamer's detachment in the face of negotiation is the key to
her success with clients, which include big names like Blockbuster,
Harper-Collins and Time-Life Inc. "When I negotiate for myself
or my clients," says Tamer, "I tell them and myself:
`Remember, there is no shortage of business out there. If this deal
doesn't fly, it isn't going to end my career or kill your
future business.' "
Keeping this positive attitude is important. And when you say
no, Tamer advises, be alert because something will show up soon to
fill the place of the deal that didn't work out. "You may
feel awful when something doesn't work out--but later,
you'll be amazed how happy you are that it didn't,"
she promises. "If it had worked out, the new opportunity that
is in front of you now never would have presented itself."
5. Practice compassion, and negotiate in good faith. Show
compassion by listening for the real reason behind your
customer's objection or hesitation. Let customers air their
feelings, make comments, present objections and feel comfortable
telling you whatever is on their minds. Then and only then will all
parties come to the negotiating table in good faith.
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