Sharon Rochford, who wrote recently, had a solid idea for a
small business. The longtime Beverly Hills, California,
intensive-care nurse decided to strike out on her own and open a
surgery-planning consultancy, Rochford Surgical Consultants, to
chaperone people through the throes of what is usually a traumatic
and stressful experience.
To promote her service, Rochford developed a brochure that's
very professional and represents precisely what she offers--but it
may need to go under the knife. No, not for anything like a heart
transplant, because the heart of the brochure is functioning just
fine. But the all-important cover needs to be treated for a case of
consultantitis. I'll explain the affliction and its symptoms so
you can put your own advertising under the microscope.
If the front of your brochure has as its main focus a logo and
terse description of your services, it may well be suffering from
this insidious disease. Consultantitis, in this instance, is the
belief that it may be unprofessional or unseemly for someone in the
healing arts and sciences to inject salesmanship into his or her
advertising. I've touched on this type of problem in other
columns this year because it has become increasingly prevalent, and
it would be a shame if otherwise smart business ideas went down the
tube because of this advertising oversight.
Content Continues Below
How can you prevent it? Check the words on your cover for
empathy and humanity. In other words, does your message reach out
to readers and address their state of mind? One of the principal
objectives of a cover headline is to strike as directly as possible
at the heart of the situation confronting your readers.
I give Rochford credit for fashioning a concise and smart
one-line description of her business: "Personalized Surgical
Planning from Preparation to Recovery." But the cover needs
some emotion. What kind? How much? Here's how the former nurse
can decide. If she were to give a talk at a local senior citizens
center about the benefits of her services, she would probably make
just the right empathetic and emotional connection with members of
the audience. That same kind of feeling deserves to be on the front
of her brochure in the form of a headline.
For example, one way to put it might be this: "Your
upcoming surgery: How to help make it come out just the way you
want." Notice I used the word "help"; that's a
"hedge" word. Obviously, there are factors out of the
patient's control that will determine the success of the
procedure. But patients can empower themselves by making smart
preoperative and postoperative decisions to maximize the good
effect of the surgery. Inside her brochure, Rochford says, "As
soon as we have taken care of all the details and assisted you in
making all the necessary arrangements, you can relax, be
comfortable and let any fears or concerns go away." That same
kind of connectedness to the prospect also deserves a place on the
cover.
Before:
Here's another brochure cover that is professional-looking
but misses the opportunity for salesmanship.
1. This logo is classy, but
why not use this "eye level" space to sell the
service?
2. The description of this
company's services is solid, but it belongs elsewhere.
After:
Here, the brochure cover is still professional-looking, but now
it offers a reason to buy.
1. This headline speaks
reassuringly to prospects and sells in the process.
2. The "how to"
part of the headline creates anticipation for getting information
readers want.
Q: I've read that prospects are willing to read long copy
about a service business as long as you keep it interesting. So how
do you keep it interesting?
A: First of all, keep in mind that longer copy
doesn't mean looser copy. Don't feel that having the space
to say more gives you license to tell your life story or
pontificate on matters of little interest to the reader. Stay on
one track only: how readers are going to personally benefit (become
smarter, richer, slimmer, and so on) by using your product or
service.
Moreover, keep your wording concise, just as you would if you
were pressed for space. As I've mentioned before, I have a
mantra taped above my computer screen: "Cut it 'til it
bleeds," meaning I need to edit the copy until it's as
succinct as possible--and this holds especially true for longer
copy. On that note, keep in mind that when people read advertising,
they rarely give it their full attention. Wording that doesn't
tax the brain will keep readers interested in reading your
1,200-word sales pitch.
Also, give it great, steaming gobs of emotional appeal. Long
novels about people and their emotions are usually the bestsellers.
Finally, give a rough draft to someone unlikely to have an interest
in your product or service. If it can keep his or her interest,
it's got a heckuva good chance of maintaining prospects'
interest, too. And remember to make it look inviting: A wall of
words can be a complete turnoff. For visual relief, break it up
with provocative subheads, sidebars and short paragraphs.
Q: I've always envied restaurants' ability to use
their exhaust fans to sell their food by encouraging those
tantalizing aromas to drift out to the hungry masses. What can
other businesses do to capture customers that way?
A: Well, I wouldn't suggest that a gym use this
tactic, but what if that gym had a marquee that, each day,
displayed another provocative fact about the benefits of exercise
and fitness? For example, "People who exercise 20 minutes a
day have 40 percent fewer heart attacks," or "Lose 10
pounds in two weeks without dieting," or "Regular
workouts greatly reduce your chances of getting cancer." Over
time, I could imagine passersby becoming motivated to at least come
in and see what the gym offers toward these fitness goals.
If you run a clothing store, what about placing live mannequins
in the windows instead of plastic ones? If you operate a kids'
electronic game emporium, you could have an actual kid playing one
in the window, or outdoors in warm weather. If you're an
optician, you could offer free eye-chart demonstrations outside
your store. Think about what you could demonstrate inside your
store, in the parking lot or near the front door that might
intrigue potential customers to give your product a try.
Bookstores have "storytelling" hours in which
employees read books to kids, motivating parents to come in and
buy. Some animal hospitals have electronic marquees in their
waiting rooms that flash a different health issue (fleas,
dysplasia, vaccinations, etc.) every 60 seconds for owners to ask
the veterinarians about. A few tire stores have videos playing in
their waiting rooms that demonstrate the hazardous effect worn
treads can have on driving safety. There's even a carry-out
food service in a Chicago suburb that sets up a kiosk at the
commuter train station every evening to get arriving (and hungry)
workers from the city to taste a bit of what they can pick up on
the way home.
You get the idea. Look for proactive ways to get the
"aroma" of your product or service out to normally
passive prospects, and there's a good chance you'll reel in
a few of them.
Jerry Fisher is an advertising copywriter, consultant and
author of Creating Successful Small Business Advertising
($39.95), available by calling (800) 247-6553. If you'd like
Jerry to consider your materials for a makeover in this column,
send them to "Ad Workshop," Entrepreneur, 2392
Morse Ave., Irvine, CA 92614, or e-mail him atJerry228@aol.com