The Outsiders
It's tough to be 'in' with your co-workers when you're the future boss.
Being the son, daughter or other relative of a family
business's leader can be a real dilemma when you're
20-something and eager to prove your worth to the family--but also
want to be friends with your co-workers. You're
still young enough that the business's
future doesn't likely rest on your shoulders, and if
you've joined the company straight out of high school
or college, you're probably very interested in building
friendships with the people you spend your days
with.
But like it or not, unless you change your
identity and your last name, you'll never be one of the
gang. You can buddy up to your work pals during the day and go out
with them for a drink at night, rationalizing it as team-building,
says Paul Karofsky, executive director of Northeastern
University's Center for Family Business in Boston, but
that's not what's really happening.
People are always aware of who you are--and as someone who may
own the business someday, you're different. "You probably
have more money--and definitely more clout--than your peers,"
says Dennis Jaffe, family business consultant and management
professor at Saybrook Graduate School.
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When you speak, people listen--even though you don't always
speak for the family or the business. "And you're
immediately thought of as rotten or spoiled, even if you
aren't," says Mike Spiewak, 47, CEO of Spiewak & Sons,
a New York City manufacturer of uniforms and outerwear. He was put
in an awkward position--as the owner's son--when he came into
his father's business in 1973. Now he's trying to advise
his 24-year-old nephew, Aaron, about how to walk the precarious
line between being a caretaker to the company and being a friendly,
respected co-worker.
Patricia Schiff Estess writes family business histories and
is the author of two books, Managing Alternative Work
Arrangements (Crisp Publishing) and Money Advice for Your
Successful Remarriage (Betterway Press).
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