Your So-Called Life

Planning is the first step to striking a healthy balance. It's essential to make time for social and family events--don't just plug them in when you have a gap in your business schedule.

Ian Parr, founder of Construction Cost Systems Inc. in Lombard, Illinois, coached his children's soccer teams two nights each week for seven years. Although his kids are now older, Parr, 50, still sets aside time for travel and other personal activities while running his 45-employee company, which provides time and cost controls and related services for construction projects, and its affiliate CCS/Owner Services, which provides project management and owner's representation services. "[My principles and I] delegate, we trust each other, and I don't believe the place will fall apart if I'm gone," says Parr. "It's a question of balancing priorities and not being awed by [the challenge]. It's too easy to look away from the quality of life."

While carrying out your plans isn't always easy, it can be done. Larry Meyer, CEO of the Michigan Retailers Association, cites one entrepreneur who co-owned several sporting goods stores: "When he [and his wife] had a baby, he took a month off--even though it was during Christmas [the busy season]. He'd planned it with his business partner."

Want to loosen your business's lock on your time? Start by making a commitment to one or two regularly scheduled activities, especially on weekdays. Join a bowling league or take ballroom dancing classes. Regularly accompany your child to swimming or gymnastics lessons. Volunteer for a few hours in your child's day-care center or elementary school once a week.

The second step is to schedule--and keep track of--periodic events, including parent-teacher conferences, field trips needing parental escorts, soccer games and music recitals. You may miss a few, but it's easier to avert business conflicts if these family events are written into your schedule early on. If you have school-age children, at least plan to occasionally take time off during school holidays.

Third, use a pen--not a pencil--to record significant dates, especially anniversaries and family birthdays. Take your spouse to lunch. Make sure you're home for your child's birthday party.

At the same time, flexibility on a daily basis is important. Keep in mind that crises will arise and your business will occasionally demand your presence outside regular working hours. As Parr observes, "Business life may require [that I attend] a board meeting at night or read at home. I don't try to fight that anymore."

Flexibility works in both directions, however. "If a friend calls me at the office, I talk to him," Parr says. "If I take a five-day business trip, when I come back, my bills have to be paid, the laundry's got to be done; if I have to take an hour off to do that, I do it. I don't feel guilty." A flexible mind-set makes it easier to deal with the inevitable: children who get sick and must stay home from school, cars that break down, and baby-sitters who don't show up, all of which may force you to rearrange your work hours.

This article was originally published in the March 1999 print edition of Entrepreneur with the headline: Your So-Called Life.