"The really successful entrepreneurs have learned to fail
well." So says Carol Orsborn, author of the bestselling
Inner Excellence at Work: The Path to Meaning, Spirit and
Success (Amacom). And she should know: Orsborn has been there,
and she has some messages for hardworking entrepreneurs.
Ask yourself these questions: Do you do everything yourself
because it's too much trouble to train others to do things
right? Do you get anxious just hanging out with family or friends
because there's so much work to do? Are you burned out? Do you
get high on the feeling of being in control? Are you terrified of
failure? According to Orsborn, a yes to any of these questions
means you're headed for a crash. Just like she was a few
decades ago.
In 1971, Orsborn and her husband started a public relations
agency that eventually became nationally known. They quickly
learned that they and their 21-member staff were working too hard
to pay full attention to details. When they announced a more
relaxed approach, all but a few of their driven staff decided to
leave, and the couple lost most of their 15 clients.
Content Continues Below
But gradually, success returned. Today, The Orsborn Company
keeps the client list down to between five and 10. They've even
expanded beyond PR to managing entertainers, and Carol makes time
for a lot of writing and speaking. Yet, with just one employee,
sales are nearly what they were at the company's frantic high
point.
Out of experience and a sense of humor, Carol founded
Overachievers Anonymous, issuing 12,000 membership cards to the
officially overcommitted. The only rules: no meetings, no classes,
no fund-raisers. The Orsborns moved from San Francisco to
Nashville, Tennessee, where Carol pursued a graduate degree in
religion at Nashville's Vanderbilt University, and where she
overcame a bout with breast cancer. She began writing books,
including The Art of Resilience (Crown Publishing) and
How to Speak the Language of Healing (Conari Press);
appearing in the media (Oprah, The Today Show); and speaking at
universities, at hospitals and to other professional audiences.
Some of the business groups she spoke to weren't receptive
to her evolving philosophy that nurturing personal values and
maintaining a quality of life are the foundation of real and
long-term success. After one speech, a comment card came back to
her: "Get real."
Some years later, that person is probably reading Carol's
latest bestseller. We asked her to share some insight. And if you
believe that by working harder and smarter you'll be able to
answer that eternal question, "Are we having fun yet?,"
then you need to listen up and loosen up.
Scott S. Smith:Why is it counterproductive to work
harder and harder to get the job done?
Carol Orsborn: It can produce short-term results, but
everything in nature needs cycles and balance. It's okay to
rise to the occasion in a crisis, but you can easily forget to come
down again because it's addictive and then you get exhausted.
When you operate on empty, you become fearful and reactive and you
over-control. You end up losing perspective and don't see what
you're really doing, don't take time to notice how
disgruntled your staff is. Noticing takes quiet time,
contemplation, listening.
Think of a Chinese finger puzzle. The harder you try to pull out
your fingers, the more it tightens. What's counterintuitive is
that if you relax you can get out.
Smith:It's hard for anyone with entrepreneurial
drive to shut off that overachieving engine.
Orsborn: At the point when the main motivation transforms
from inspiration and service to greed and fear, you're in
trouble. And when employees operate out of that basis, they
aren't productive.
Smith:How do you work fewer hours and yet bring in
the sales you had when you had a much bigger staff?
Orsborn: We're more efficient now because we have
some perspective. It's amazing how much time is wasted having
meetings about meetings. Our goal was to have a company that
supported our lives, not the other way around. It takes discipline
to decide which clients to take and what promises to make.
Smith:You mention that some of the top business
leaders make a habit of walking around the block or doing something
creative before a major decision is made.
Orsborn: People know they have subconscious wisdom, but
they don't apply it as often as they should. As work-driven as
the Japanese are, they don't get right on someone to get back
to work if they're daydreaming a bit. Western business
tradition doesn't encourage such introspection.
We have this illusion that we can be in control of everything,
and that's what some people seem to think is spirituality. True
spirituality is about coming to terms with the parts of ourselves
and the world, including business, that are not under our control
and making peace with that.
Smith:What's so wrong about trying to control
everything?
Orsborn: It's unrealistic, and what happens when
something goes wrong? What will it do to you? So many books teach
how to control things with new techniques. But you can't rely
on them entirely because sooner or later something will happen to
you that you couldn't foresee.
Smith:How does spirituality differ from self-help
programs?
Orsborn: Spirituality has to do with finding purpose and
inspiration regardless of what's happening to you. The more
okay you are with the deeper issues about meaning, the greater your
chance of having a real experience of success. Business seminars
address logical ways to master things in a world of winners and
losers, but they don't really deal with what happens when
you've done everything in your power and things still go wrong.
Too many companies slap on motivation programs like Band-Aids and
don't deal with the underlying issues, like whether there is a
culture of distrust that needs to be changed.
Smith:What do you say to someone who suddenly finds
himself or herself dissatisfied with work that was previously
fulfilling?
Orsborn: It can mean a thousand things. It might mean you
just need to take a break. I've seen people sell their
companies because they were unhappy and only later realize they
just needed a vacation. I've also known others who had just
outgrown their companies. Too often, people think they're
uninspired because things are slipping and they need to work harder
to get remotivated. That's the wrong thing to do. You need to
get in touch with what's going on by contemplation. That
doesn't mean you have to stop everything-too many of us are all
on or all off, but there is a happy medium.
Smith:What about a step down from boredom, when
someone is experiencing pain and fear?
Orsborn: The interesting thing is that every religion
values periods of breakdown as part of constructive transition.
When you're falling apart, the status quo has the least hold on
you and you can make radical changes. A lot of
"spiritual" books teach you that if you fall off the
cliff, you need to get back up as soon as possible. What I'm
saying is that staying on the side of the cliff is a good thing.
When things are out of your control, your ability to have faith can
keep you inspired even when things are falling apart around you.
People who let themselves fall into the void are courageous, and
ultimately they learn how to put things back together in a better
way. What I found is that this is the fastest road to long-term
success.
That doesn't mean you do nothing. The really successful
entrepreneurs have learned to fail well. The truth is, when we
confront our fears, they're not as bad as we thought. If we
open into the pain and hurt, the wounds have the opportunity to
heal.
Smith:You say that we can become enthralled with
unhappiness. Why?
Orsborn: If you haven't experienced true happiness
for a while, you forget what it really is. It isn't the
short-term high you might have by getting a new car or a new
client; it's the experience of deep connectedness and love. So
many people feel cheated because they did what society said and
weren't rewarded like they think they should have been. Yet
desperation can be your best friend because you can open up to new
opportunities.
Smith:How do you cultivate synchronicities and
intuition so you know your inner wisdom?
Orsborn: The ability to be aware of these things is
fragile, and the more you try to force things to bend to your will,
the less space there is for them to show up.
Smith:What's the role of humility in achieving
business success?
Orsborn: It's arrogant to insist you can make it
happen, that it's all up to you to do on your own. You can get
short-term success from that, but eventually something will go
wrong that you won't be able to handle. Some people are making
their millions in this economy, and it looks like they're using
force of will. It seems like they can never have enough, and then
they spend their careers managing these empires while sacrificing
personal relationships, downtime and health. There's a
difference between what looks like success and the experience of
true success.
Pay attention to the nurturing of your heart-your greatest
experience of success will come as a byproduct of the growth of
your spirit.
Scott S. Smith writes about business issues for a variety of
publications, including Investor's Business
Daily.