Sure, owning a successful company has its benefits, but there
are draw-backs as well, including feelings of loneliness or
isolation as the business takes on a life of its own. Those
feelings are familiar to Meg Chang, 26, who has seen her Los
Angeles-based company, Vantage Staffing Network, rapidly grow, with
revenue skyrocketing to over $20 million in the past year. She
admits to feeling lonely right after her company was awarded its
first major contract.
"While I was thrilled at Vantage's achievement, my time
was primarily spent making it happen and maintaining a tough travel
schedule, which left little time for anything else," recalls
Chang. To help combat isolation, she stayed involved in networking
groups such as the Southern California chapter of the U.S. Pan
Asian American Chamber of Commerce and the Asian Business
Association.
"Loneliness kind of sneaks up from behind and grabs you
before you realize it," explains Barbara Babbit Kaufman,
entrepreneur and author of Attitude. "Your business life takes
over your personal life and, before you know it, there's no
separation between the two, which can certainly lead to
isolation."
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As her company grew, handling the success of $45 million-plus
Pure
Romance has been challenging for Patty Brisben, president and
CEO of the Milford, Ohio-based woman-to-woman direct-sales company
specializing in romantic products. "Although I play the part
of the fearless leader, at times I honestly felt I was carrying the
weight of the world on my shoulders," says Brisben, 49.
"With a 10,000-square-foot warehouse, more employees and a
massive increase in stock, I felt I had to do it all for everyone
or [my business] would fail."
Regarding the isolation, Brisben admits, "It's
difficult to find other women to relate to who are in the exact
position I am in my life and career."
"When you get to the top of your field, you also start to
guard yourself and often put too much responsibility on your own
shoulders," explains Babbit Kauffman. "You rarely have
others to turn to when you're in need of quick advice, and when
you do get advice, it's mostly from those who tell you what
they think you cannot do vs. what you can."
Brisben nurtures personal friendships to combat loneliness.
"I continue to honor many of my closest friendships from years
prior to [my] financial and entrepreneurial success and haven't
let inevitable life changes get in the way of those bonds,"
she says. "Believing in myself and working closely with my
family also helped me get through tough times of transition and
growth."
If, like Brisben and Chang, you're fighting feelings of
isolation due to your success, Babbit Kaufman suggests you:
1. Create a line of separation. Your business and
personal life must have a balance: Shut off that computer at a
certain time every night; play with your kids more; or create a
buffer zone before you get home.
2. Network. Construct networks that connect you to the
right people at the right time. Call on these people for advice and
opinions, but don't let their advice change your direction.
3. Don't take yourself too seriously. As you climb
the ladder of success, don't get caught up in it. Stay on
course, have fun, and don't let what you've created change
you.
"Loneliness is an inevitable emotion that's part of our
life experience. There's no need to fear it, and there are ways
to alleviate it," says Chang. "Regardless of your level
of success, it's important to remember why you wanted to be an
entrepreneur in the first place. Don't forget your
passion."
Aliza Pilar
Sherman is an author, freelance writer and speaker specializing
in women's issues.