Peyton Anderson rode his first business to the top of the dotcom
boom and, starting about the time his first child was born, back
down again. Since then, the Research Triangle Park, North Carolina,
entrepreneur has started another company and adopted twin
daughters. But Anderson knows that while he can take another shot
at business, he only gets one go-round at parenting. And being an
entrepreneur and a parent don't always mix.
"I have three kids 4 and under," says Anderson,
who's the 39-year-old founding CEO of Affinergy Inc., a
12-person biotech firm projecting $1 million in 2005 sales.
"And even while I'm singing to them in the bathtub, in the
back of my mind, I'm grinding on stuff at work."
Naturally, Anderson has a business plan to make sure Affinergy
stays on track. Just as naturally, he has a combination
business/parenting plan to make sure he doesn't allow his
entrepreneurial bent to affect his parenting. His main tactic is
scheduling work around time spent with the kids on weekends and
before they go to bed.
Content Continues Below
"I can do a lot of work from 9 p.m. to midnight using my
wireless laptop and sending out e-mails," he says. "And I
try to keep Saturday [open] all day to do things with the
kids." He also flexes his schedule to stay home late some
mornings and drop the children off at school. "I can come in
to work at 9:30 one morning, because I know I'll stay late that
night," he says.
Entrepreneurs are right to be concerned about the effects an
entrepreneurial career may have on their children, says Anna Beth
Benningfield, a Dallas psychologist, family therapist and business
consultant. Children of entrepreneurial parents risk feeling
ignored by a parent obsessed with making a startup successful, she
says. "By that, I don't mean just working long hours, but
being so emotionally invested in the business that there isn't
a lot of energy left for kids and family," says
Benningfield.
While some kids get too little quality time from their
entrepreneurial parents, others may get too much stuff.
Entrepreneurs who are financially successful, especially if they
came from a low-income background, may tend to spoil their children
by giving them too many things. "It comes out of a good
motive," Benningfield says. "They want their kids to have
the things they believe will make them happy." She points out
that entrepreneurs would be better off helping their children learn
to work, save and sacrifice for the things they want instead of
handing everything over on a silver platter.
Entrepreneurial parents have positive things to offer their
children as well as challenges to overcome. "A lot has to do
with the way the kids see their parents dedicate themselves to the
business," says Benningfield. Entrepreneurs who involve their
children in the venture, by employing them or simply including them
in activities such as business trips and days at the office,
demonstrate that dedication and commitment can be fun and
rewarding.
Long hours at the office can turn into long hours of positive
parenting when entrepreneurial parents make children feel like part
of the enterprise. "It's when the parent keeps saying
they'll come to the ball game and never does that children can
feel deprived and begin to distance themselves from parents,"
Benningfield says.
Like many entrepreneurs, Anderson hopes that realizing his
entrepreneurial ambition will someday allow him to be an even more
devoted parent. "I have aspirations of being financially
successful with Affinergy so I can have a lot more flexibility to
spend time with my kids," he says. "I hope my son wants
to play [peewee] football, because I've said all my life, I
want to coach him in that. If we [make] significant money with
Affinergy, I can do that."