Friendly Fire?
Don't let a deal destroy your friendship.
Why is it that valued relationships often explode or
disintegrate when negotiations get rocky? Is friendship better for
business than business is for friendship?
At best, business deals are a challenge for any friendship. Who
hasn't been shocked by how differently "friends" act
when haggling? You think you know someone. Then suddenly,
you're fighting tooth and nail about the trivial.
In life, friendship is important for its own sake. In deal
making, relationships are generally secondary. Thus, experienced
deal-makers are not perturbed by aggressive, manipulative or sleazy
opponents. On the other hand, we would never expect true
friends to treat us like that!
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Not mixing business with pleasure is one surefire way to avoid
conflict. On the other hand, if you never take the risk, you'll
never have the best of both worlds--a friend in life and a friend
at the bargaining table.
When negotiating with friends, be candid. If you're not sure
what's fair, find an objective standard. Make "what
if" plans that will keep everyone on speaking terms. Like any
other deal, you should put it in writing. But friends owe each
other more than strict compliance with some contract. Talk it out
fully before the fact.
There is more at stake when dealing with friends: Deals come and
go, but a good friend is irreplaceable.
A speaker and attorney in Los Angeles, Marc
Diener is author of Deal Power.