With all that said, keep in mind that people can exhibit
behaviors that are significantly different from their natural
personalities, at least for short periods of time. Introverts can
behave like extroverts, especially when they're with a group of
introverts that they trust and feel comfortable with. When someone
they don't know walks into their environment, they may return
to their more introverted roots. We all have the ability to stretch
or hold back our natural styles for a relatively short period of
time. The challenge is changing our personality for an extended
period.
Just think back to your last job interview, and compare your
behavior with the way you acted the last time you went out with one
of your good friends. Notice any differences? Anyone who has ever
interviewed for a job knows that his "interview
personality" isn't necessarily his real personality.
Interviewing and dating are basically "sales calls;" in
those scenarios--if we're interested in the job or our
date--we're selling ourselves. Our objective is for the person
conducting the interview to offer us the job or for the person
sitting across from us at a candlelit restaurant to be interested
in future engagements.
For the most part, personalities, Tier I (developed largely
during the early formative years of people's lives), change
little over the course of their lives. Their behaviors, Tier II,
however, are the manifestations of their personalities and are the
aspects of their personalities that are changeable. People can
change their behavior to get what they want in a number of
environments. I like to use the typical dating personality or
vacation personality to illustrate your ability to behave outside
your natural personality because almost everyone can relate to it.
Regardless of your personality, the dating personality you exhibit,
particularly on the first few dates, is probably quite different
from what your parents and best friends see.
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Imagine that you're on a date; perhaps it's the
beginning of a relationship. Do you think that you'll be more
aggressive or more accepting? The dating personality is usually
accepting. "You're 35, and you live with your mother.
That's great. What a wonderful way to show your love and
support for her!" When you're on a date, do you think
you'll be more calm and patient or be more impatient? The
survey says more patient. Imagine it's time to pick up your
date. You expect your date to be ready by 6:30. You have plans on
seeing a movie at 7, but your date isn't ready. Do you blow a
gasket or do you say, "That's OK. Why don't we just
have dinner first and then play the rest of the evening by
ear?" Right! You're more patient. For those of you who are
now married, are you still as patient? I doubt it.
When dating, do you find that you're more sociable and
outgoing or more shy, introspective in your thoughts? Most of us
are more sociable. For those of us who think selling is just like
lying, even we can increase our sociability in the dating process.
Do you feel more relaxed or driving when dating, and are you more
compliant, wanting to do everything right, or more casual and
independent? When dating, we have a tendency to be more relaxed and
independent in that we're more flexible and uninhibited. This
is a great personality to have in a dating environment.
The dating personality is very resilient, able to sustain itself
for sometimes the entire dating process. The challenge with the
dating personality is that you're able to be this person for a
couple of years but then one morning, you wake up, look at your
significant other and say, "I can't believe how much
you've changed since we got married." With shock, they
look at us and say, "I'm not the one who has changed.
You're the one who has changed." The truth is, everyone
changes.
While dating, interviewing, or in a selling or speaking role,
you can project a personality that's completely different from
your everyday nature. The bigger the difference between the way
you're acting and your natural style, however, the harder and
more stressful it will be to keep up the act. (Those of you who are
attempting this know exactly what I mean!) Eventually, for most
people, the mask falls off. If you meet someone who appears to be
calm, cool, and collected, all you have to do is put him in a
stressful situation to unveil the person behind the mask. The best
novelists learn to do this with the characters in their stories to
give readers the inside scoop on the characters' true nature,
showing their strengths and revealing their weaknesses.
Find the Long-Term
Personality
According to the Talmud, an important book in Judaism,
before a woman shall marry a man, she should see him under three
conditions. True personality traits tend to come out when someone
is drunk, sick, or angry. I jokingly tell executives who are
hiring, "If you really want to know what someone's like,
take them out for bad sushi, offer them a couple of martinis, and
then piss them off and see what happens" Of course, it would
be easier and less painful to have them take a personality
assessment.
Since founding and running a successful company is a long-term
process, it's best for an entrepreneur to carefully choose a
venture that's well suited for his natural personality. The
bottom line is that each of the seven personalities is much more
compatible with some types of businesses than with others. Rather
than swimming upstream with the currents running against your
potential success, why not focus on the types of situations and
businesses in which you can thrive?
The value of understanding your own personality is that you can
leverage your strengths, improve your weaknesses and limitations,
and discover the type of organization that you're best served
in creating. You have two choices; you can either choose a business
that is well designed for you or be prepared and know that you will
need to hire and surround yourself with the right people. Both
work.
Like this article? Then check out The Entrepreneur Next
Door on Entrepreneur
Press.
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