Me first! Putting others' needs before your own can be hazardous to your career and your health.

* American Institute of Stress (www.stress.org)

* National Institute Of Mental Health (www.nimh.nih.gov)

IDENTIFYING THE PROBLEM

While some stress is normal, here are signs that you may be overextending yourself

Physical

You may experience headaches, backaches, a racing heart, shortness of breath, or sleeplessness. "If you don't get enough sleep, everything is amplified," says author Tyeese Gaines Reid. "You're super stressed out, you're jumping off the deep end at every little thing, and there are diseases that are linked to stress alone--high blood pressure. thyroid problems, even heart attacks."

Mental

The ability to concentrate and focus on the task at hand can be compromised when you're overextended. As a result, missed deadlines, careless mistakes, and forgetfulness are common.

Emotional

According to the Families and Work Institute, people who feel overworked are more likely to feel angry at their employers and resent co-workers who don't work as hard as they do. "You might feel irritable, angry, and find yourself arguing all the time," says psychoanalyst Marilyn Martin.

Behavior

"You might notice some changes n your appetite, like you're eating all the time or you're losing your appetite," says Martin. Likewise, you may engage in escapist behavior such as drinking, drugs, excessive sex, shopping, or gambling to distract yourself.

COUNTERING CHRONIC STRESS

Whether you're adjusting to a company restructuring or coping With a family member's illness, there are going to be periods during your life when chronic--or ongoing--stress will be unavoidable, says psychiatrist Janet E. Taylor. Here, Taylor offers some ways to help lower your stress levels and ease your mind and body:

Deep breathing: Take 10 deep breaths through your nose with your mouth closed, Deep breathing slows your heart rate, and focusing on your breathing brings your awareness to how your body is feeling.

Muscle relaxation: Stand up and lean as far forward as you can. Hake yourself as tense as possible without falling for 10 seconds. Then stand up straight, square the shoulders, take some deep breaths, and let your body go limp. The result is what it is like to feel relaxed.

Healthy diet: There is no substitute for regular exercise and eating a nutritious diet. And, if you are going through a stressful time or working a difficult job, it is even more critical for you to maintain proper eating habits as well as routinely participate in physical activity.

FINDING A SOLUTION

If you suspect you're overextending yourself, psychoanalyst Marilyn Martin offers these steps that may help:

Track your feeling and behavior. Monitor how often you feel overwhelmed and write it down, "When you journal, it strengthens the part of you that observes your behavior," says psychoanalyst Marilyn Martin, That way, you know how often you feel stressed and are aware of how you handle that stress.

Counter feeling of guilt. Many people feel that they're letting others down when they say 'no,' "but saying yes to everybody is being cruel to yourself," says Martin When you start to feel guilty, remind yourself that it's OK to put your needs first.

Create a supporting cast. Pass personal responsibilities to family members, or considering outside help such as a cleaning service. At work, delegate responsibilities that aren't crucial to your role. "Think of it as giving somebody else the opportunity to say 'yes,'" says Martin.

Exercise. Physical activity is not on y good for your physical health but it "increases your endorphins, which help you feel better, and it's also important in terms of helping prevent depression," says Martin.

Seek professional help. If you're engaging in self-destructive behavior such as alcoholism drug abuse, or gambling, contact an addiction support group or mental health professional. Likewise, if you've tried multiple times to stop a certain behavior and have been unsuccessful, a psychologist can help.