Beer makes you smart.

Moderate alcohol consumption may enhance cognition, according to research published in the Journal of Neuroscience. In a study, rats were fed liquid diets containing varying amounts of alcohol. Some had no alcohol; some had a moderate amount; and some rats had quite a bit. The study authors not only found that the moderate drinkers performed better on object recognition tests than those in the other groups, but also were more popular and got invited to more parties than did either the teetotalers or the sloppy drunks, mostly because of their alcohol-enhanced Trivial Pursuit skills. The FDA is said to be drafting a "Dear Doctor" letter urging physicians not to discount alcohol's negative health impacts, despite this finding, as well as a "Dear Lindsay Lohan" letter urging the starlet to take heed. The Bureau of Indications is bravely offering up our bodies to undergo human trials to help advance this important research. We love Trivial Pursuit.