10 Buzzwords You Need to Know
A primer on the latest business lingo.
1. Hit the Slide
2. Jennifer Lopez
3. Scooby Snacks
6. Osmosis Marketing
7. Ramen Profitable
10. Digital Nomads
Jargon can be a way for those in-the-know to include or exclude others in business. Whether you love buzzwords or hate them, it's important to learn them. Here's a guide to the new lingo that you need to communicate in our ever-changing world.
Usage: On bad days, Chuck would steal coffee creamer from the office kitchenette and fantasize about hitting the slide. On really bad days, the plan involved burning fish and cauliflower in the microwave, pulling the fire alarm and streaking out past the vice president's office.
Usage: "I wouldn't mind seeing a little more Jennifer Lopez on the NASDAQ."
Usage: Alan thought his 80-hour workweeks would get him a bonus. Instead, he got Scooby Snacks -- two tickets to the charity hockey game and an ergonomic chair, ganked from the manager on maternity leave.
Usage: "As NBC reeled from the fallout of Jeff Zucker's tacit admission that his attempt to refashion the customary way Americans watch prime time had failed, Hollywood was ablaze with baldenfreude."
Usage: After the VCs kicked Mr. Sands and his ill-fitting suit to the curb, he downed a few beers at a bar and took the mic: "The first step/to becomin' a 'trep/is to find the funding./ Or you'll be left wonderin'/why you wasted all this time/on a dream with no rhyme or reason," he freestyled, poorly.
Usage: Robbie wished, not for the first time, that osmosis marketing hadn't worked so spectacularly for Justin Bieber's empire.
Usage: "Of course we're profitable," Marc snapped. Lydia took in the unwashed plastic utensils and stained papers on the scuffed table that doubled as his office. "Yeah," she agreed, "ramen profitable."
Usage: About 25,000 ganjapreneurs and their customers attended the inaugural THC Expo in downtown Los Angeles last summer.
Usage: In the Great Mancession of '09, 80 percent of jobs lost were held by men, and unemployment rates neared postwar records. No change in percentage of household chores completed.
Usage: Scoreboard for 2009: Cyber Luddites 1.0; Digital Nomads 1.0 × 10 100