If you’re not up to the task of fighting the beast known as corporate customer service, there are plenty of jerks willing to get ‘er done for you.
That’s right, we’re talking Class A assholes. The professional kind, now at your service over at AssholesOnDemand.com, a hilarious new online service just launched by former Reddit general manager Erik Martin and journalist and former Popular Mechanics editor Erin Scottberg. Both claim they aren’t really meanies, even if they don’t always use their “nice” voices.
We're like the X-Men, but for assholes. Join our caring & resourceful assholes who will fight faceless corporations. http://t.co/uNckYYFRrf— erik martin (@hueypriest) December 8, 2014
They want you to think of the talented members of Assholes On Demand (AOD) as the X-men of methodically and effectively tearing customer service reps a new one. Seriously, that’s pretty much their tagline: “We’re like the X-men, but for assholes!”
AOD’s manifesto of sorts says it all:
Some people shy away from confrontation and just let large faceless bureaucracies walk all over them. Some people can't muster the passion to fight for what they deserve. Some people just don't have the time or resources or knowhow to relentlessly do battle with insurance companies, airlines, cable companies and the like. That's going to change. We are starting a project that's going to give a loud, persistent, and annoying voice to the meek.
Yep, AOD’s only mission is to “help people get what they rightly deserve,” loudly, persistently and annoyingly, care of scrappy spitfires unafraid to tango with horrible, rotten, no-good customer service reps.
“We’re caring and resourceful assholes who will fight the faceless corporations causing your customer service nightmares,” the website proclaims. “You are not alone and you aren’t going crazy.” Oh, good, because we were sure we were the last time we rotted on hold with Verizon for two full hours before finally getting through to someone who, but of course, couldn’t help us anyway.
AOD only accepts pro bono cases at the moment and it’s not just for anyone. For now, its growing team of toughies will only go to bat for active duty military, non-English speakers and senior citizens who “have nowhere else to turn.”
Related: How to Deal With Jerks
If you’re a real-deal squeaky wheel -- and you know who you are -- AOD wants you and your "talents."
Your assholeness may have ostracized you from friends, may have held you back at jobs, and may give people the wrong impression, but we see your assholeness as a gift, not a curse. Your talents are real and they are needed in the world.
Unfortunately the job doesn’t pay. It’s strictly a volunteer gig, but somebody has to do it.
Why not you? Think you’re cut out for the job? C’mon. Go for it, jerk.