Start-up meets sound humdrum to me. Whenever my impresario husband finds time from his newly instituted start-up, he makes it a point to network. Initially, I alleged that it’s in his nature to meet people, which he loves. Contrary to the same, I realised, it’s all about his start-up. He has to meet people to spread the word about his start-up. He has to meet people to look out for funding. He has to meet people to curb the identity crisis he has deep down his heart.
Yesterday I went to another start-up meet. It was an unpremeditated gathering where youngsters were invited to discourse their ideas and start-ups with a glass of drink. After spending a year with my entrepreneur husband, I am now well versed about how to behave in such get together. I am shy, it doesn’t come naturally to me, I always rely on a peg to kick me start and network.
In the midst of the crowd, I could comprehend a lean frame standing at the corner. “Hi, I am Shweta”. I familiarised myself to her. “Noopur” she replied. Her body etymology indicated that she was uneasy. “Siddharth’s wife”, she continued. “The guy in checks, is my better half. He has recently started to work upon an idea, which brings me here”. “Great, so what do you do?” I uttered out of inquisitiveness. “I am a theatre artist, but now I guess I’ll have to look out for some high paying jobs. Have applied to few banks, let’s see”. As Noopur said, she moved a bit far from me. Reason unknown.
“I am a theatre artist”, she said. This got stuck in my mind. I could relate very well. I was never a career oriented female, but have always wanted to live life on my own terms. However, destiny had some other plans. After marrying an entrepreneur, I had to work. Work for money. I made seven job switches in two years just for salary hike, and when my resume wasn’t accepted anywhere, I got stuck to a job calling for stability. The prevalent challenge in marrying an entrepreneur is to understand that you always need a plan B, i.e., a continuous and sheltered source of income. His business might behave like a Sine Curve, you cannot.
In another incident, few months back, I received an email from a very close friend, Rashmi. Rashmi wrote about her husband who is an entrepreneur, a serial entrepreneur. Her husband is on his third start-up, First two being shut either because of an act of immaturity or a feud with partner. Her email clearly spoke about her pain and vulnerability asking me how would have I survived the entrepreneurial bondage, the marriage?
I could commiserate very well. I as well understood that every business is not an efficacious business. In my second year of marriage, my husband has started with his second start-up, first start-up being shut down. I know how much I abhorred him for the catastrophe. I knew how much I detested him when other husbands discussed about movies and politics, and he spoke about his business – When other husbands took their wives for a good meal to a restaurant, my entrepreneur husband took me for poaching; when other husbands bought expensive gifts on special occasions, my husband bought me nothing. He did not even remember our first marriage anniversary. He did try to mend up things by organsing a big bash the next week; however all I could say is that he was too early for the next year’s anniversary celebration party. I still summon up the senseless altercation we had that day.
Amidst all the cribbing and bickering, I realised that he never had any issue with me. He loved me and accepted me the way I was. I thought of giving it a try as well. It took me good few months to understand how to be happily married to an entrepreneur. I realised he is crazy and passionate about his start-up. In fact, he is lucky to discover what he is passionate about.
To connect with him, I started connecting myself with entrepreneurship. I started living his life. I started getting up early just to read about some new businesses. I started reading books on entrepreneurship. I started ideating solutions to simple problems. I started assisting him in whatever I could. I started loving him. Isn’t it the same way how marriages work – be it an entrepreneur husband or not? Yes, It is that guileless.
I took no time to draft a reply to Rashmi, which was long pending.
It’s you who can set every success possible for your husband, for every opportunity to get on the bus. It’s you who have listened to his ups and downs and still motivated him. I am sure there would have been times where you would have even worked for him- like answering phone calls, writing emails and marketing companies. By now you have become an entrepreneur by yourself. Kick start your start-up of a happily married life. All the best!!!