Stop Allowing The Judgement Of Others To Define You

"We must continue to make our own choices, and we must define who we are and who we are not."

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One of the things I often turn my attention to at the start of a new year is what I really want to go after in the next 12 months, and reflect on the opportunity being presented for me to further develop and grow beyond my current ability and performance as a human being. I have also realized that over the course of last year in particular, I have, at times, allowed the judgement and opinion of others to define who I am, and for me to even accept their opinion of me has been to my own pain and detriment. As such, I believe that as I enter 2022, I have a personal responsibility, to myself, to stop allowing others’ opinions of me to become my truth.

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Of course, this starts with me- I need to stop allowing others to dictate what I see and feel about myself. While we should always be teachable and be willing to be offended to wake ourselves up during moments of utter blindness, it needs to be done in a way to protect you from yourself, and not to kick you with no benefit realized in the process. Indeed, it’s been said that judgement often says more about the person who’s criticizing you than it ever does about you. We often have to deal with people’s projections, and sadly, some like to pull others down to make themselves feel better. But I honestly believe that if we keep a greater accountability to ourselves, and commit to keep learning, growing, and developing as a person, our ability to be dismissive of other harsh opinions won’t sting as much as it once used to.

We need to be brave and move away from those who are not good for us- their voices need to be silenced, and we owe it to ourselves to sever ties with those who cast dispersions that are not building us up, or, at the very least, show us a better way. If you are anything like me, you will take things to heart- I wear my heart on my sleeve, I am very empathetic, and so, I feel and perceive very well, and such, it can become trickier to navigate through the judgements of others. But we must find a way to do so, especially for the good of our own energy, which, for me, is essential, if we are going to contribute to the greater good of those we are called to go through life with.

We must continue to make our own choices, and we must define who we are and who we are not. We must be dedicated to being the highest expression of ourselves, and in doing so, silence and move away from the harsh condemnation and opinion of others. I recently caught up with Nastasya Rose from whyvive.com, whose experiences as a teenager have dictated the work she now does in helping others really take control of their own mental wellbeing. Rose thus epitomizes the need to keep yourself accountable, and owning your own truth, to keep moving forward and achieving in life- here are a few excerpts from my conversation with her:

Anthony Steverson, Location: Watermark, Asbury Park, NJ

How do we grow in our self-awareness, so that judgement from others is easier to dismiss and navigate?

We should understand that we’re here to exist in our own lane. Others will project their fears on us, especially when it’s the unknown. We should learn to not take that personally. We all have our own individual purposes that we are meant to fulfil. And that purpose is meant to be fulfilled with our aligned people. Instead of focusing on the judgment that’ll come, focus on the clarity in your purpose, and being its embodiment, so that you can attract the people you’re meant to fulfil that purpose with. The only reason why judgment gets to you when it does is because you’re forcing yourself to get aligned with people who aren’t aligned with you.

Related: To Grow Into Ourselves, We Must First Embrace The Unknown

It seems like you’ve needed to judge yourself to find the path you are on now. Is judging yourself a way of not being affected as much by the judgement of others?

There’s a specific way to judge ourselves in a positive way, so that we can be secure not taking offence through the judgment we receive from others. For example, if you ever doubt yourself in how you serve others, try to ask yourself, “Why am I doubting myself?” And ask this question from a lace of true integrity. I promise you, if you do this in alignment, the answers will come up showing where you may need improvement, and you can treat this as an exciting game to play, where you work on yourself to be the value desired, so that you can guarantee results for whomever you’re serving. Then, when another person judges you, you can simply respond in peace, because you’re already loving the ride of being the best value in your craft, and either the other person judging you can accept that or not, but as long as you’re working on yourself, that’s not a personal problem for you, but a personal problem for them.

How does embracing the judgement of others negatively affect our energy? Why is it essential in the work you do in protecting, strengthening, and nurturing energy within your clients?

It doesn’t. This took a lot of work though to get here. When you take someone's judgment, it’s simply because there’s something you should be doing that maybe you’re not doing yet. Being brave and doing those next scary steps you know you should make in your life, helps all the pain from judgment of others go away. The reason for this is because when you’re finally focused on fulfilling the reason you exist, rather than what anyone else has to say, then it’s no longer about who you’re not meant to serve, but about who you are meant to serve. Your focus shifts. So, now, the passion shifts as well to focus instead on who you’re meant to serve, and to deliver true results in your craft. This also aids in the energy preserved with our clients, because they’re on a constant journey with you, and they’re going to face similar challenges you’ve faced. Being that safe space for who you’re meant to serve matters more than tending to those you’re not meant to serve, who may be projecting their fears on you.

With regards to your own story and journey, how important is it for us to be mindful of our environment in relation to how we go on to define ourself, and live a life of truth and integrity, embracing all that we are?

It’s imperative for us to notice our reactions to things, and finally ask ourselves: “When are we going to see it’s time to be better?” If we want peace in our lives, we should aspire to be that peace every day. It starts with us. Not in any other object, place, or thing. As we exemplify and embody the peace we desire, then we can attract more of it every day. It’s up to us to do the work to embrace who we truly are, and make a difference with that truth. That mission is what’s meant to be the louder than any judgment anyone can give.

Please share with me anything else you feel represents the title of this article, and marries up to both your story and the work you are doing now.

I used to be someone so full of judgment, and the focus of it. But what helps push all that away is simply not being around where I energetically don’t feel at peace. I get judged for this in itself. But I can’t possibly be at peace for others, if I’m not feeling peace myself. Keep moving forward in the peace you desire for yourself, your craft, and your results in life- don’t pay too much attention to what anyone else has to say. Instead, get clear in the vision you exist for, and go make that real, while building your connections with the ones you’re meant to experience the wins of those accomplishments with. Most of all, forgive yourself for all the things you’ve done that may have led you astray in the past. You’re not perfect. Simply be excited for the awareness you have now, and move forward. If you’re still alive and breathing on this planet, then you still exist for a strong reason. Go fulfil that reason strong enough to make a difference for generations to come.

Related: Finding Hope In The Darkest Of Situations