Tony Robbins Explains How to Regain Control and Let Go of False Beliefs

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Tony Robbins is a rock star -- but you probably already knew that. What I didn’t expect was my own little personal transformation after spending the day with him and reflecting on what I learned.

Tony went through a lot as a kid. He had an abusive mother and his father could not provide for their family, so he left. Growing up, Tony helped provide for his siblings and took on a lot of responsibility quickly. I could easily empathize with this feeling of being abandoned from my own personal experiences.

Related: Tony Robbins: Want Success? Rewire Your Mind.

Fortunately for me, my home wasn’t as tumultuous or abusive as Tony’s. But my mom was married three times before I was 16 years old, and I didn’t grow up with a father in my life. I was a classic latch-key kid without much supervision and often felt alone.

On top of this, I’m adopted, and there’s an entire dramatic saga around the search for my birth parents that I’ll save for my documentary film. It’s enough to say that I am admittedly still dealing with abandonment issues...

On the positive side, my childhood made me fiercely independent and resourceful. I haven’t been waiting for Prince or Princess Charming to rescue me and there are no “ships” scheduled to come in for me that I know of. It’s always been about putting in the work.

The problem is that I still carry around a degree of sadness from the events of my childhood. The memories haunt me, and these feelings tend to flare up when other unrelated things go wrong.

It’s no surprise when things don’t go my way, that’s the struggle we are all in. But sometimes when I’m there, I’m also in an emotional battle with my thoughts and trying to keep it together.

If this sounds remotely familiar to your situation, I hope this episode helps you like it has helped me.

In any case, anyone -- especially entrepreneurs who deal with uncertainty and internal battles -- can learn great lessons from watching this video.

Be sure to take advantage of Tony’s offer to get his book for free here. His podcast is also worth checking out on iTunes.

Related: All Entrepreneurs Need Is Just a Little Patience

On this episode of Behind the Brand, Robbins outlines three reasons why entrepreneurs fail:

1. You’re not in control.

Tony reminded me: “Your brain is not designed to make you happy. It’s there to help you survive. Your brain is always looking for what’s wrong and has a 'fight or flight' response. Happiness is your job.”

If your mind is weak, and you don’t have control over your thoughts, emotions and body, you’re going to have problems.

Maybe you flee from your issues or medicate with prescription drugs, alcohol or donuts. There’s more than one way to take flight from your reality. Tony isn’t exempt from bad experiences, he just trains his mind to cope and overcome them. Watch the video for details about how to do this.

2. You don’t know how to read your gauges.

Tony gives the example of pilots who go through extensive training to know how to read the gauges that warn them of dangerous conditions. In 10 years from now only about 4 percent of new businesses around today will survive.

Why is the failure rate so high?

“Entrepreneurs know how to fly when the sun is out but if there’s fog or stormy weather, they often crash.”

Learning how to manage finances, recruiting, marketing etc. is in Tony’s estimation about 20 percent of the battle. But learning and navigating the psychological and emotional side is 80 percent.

One example of emotional health is to know what business you’re really in. It’s also about understanding and coming to terms with your personal strengths and weaknesses. When you know these things inside and out they will be your compass and guide you to (eventually) find success.

3. We hold on to false ideas or beliefs.

If you’re like me, you might use (false) metaphors or phrases like, “I’m stuck.” Tony reminded me that no one is ever really stuck unless they are somehow physically restrained. We tend to hold on to things like hurt feelings and grudges but this only stunts our growth. Seriously, watch the video for details about how to overcome this, it’s really great.

There are many more lessons here to be learned. Watch the full-length episode, and you’ll get thousands of dollars worth of professional coaching from one of the most prolific teachers on the planet for $0. Let me know your thoughts by tweeting me @BryanElliott.

Related: Steve Harvey's Top 10 Rules for Success

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