Oh, I forgot, you're never out. You've got your cell phone in your pocket all the time, and wherever that is, you're on duty. And the rare exceptional moment when you are out, a computer plays tag for you.
Wait. I was wrong. Never mind about the out thing. You don't even have to be in, do you? What's the point of paying money for a cubicle somewhere when your entire office fits into your laptop? There is no in. You say you miss the receptionist? She works at Starbucks now, you can visit her there.
Say goodbye to carbon paper, rubber stamps, a fax machine, the storage cabinet, the coffee cart guy, the office librarian, the secretary who sat in front of your door and guarded it, the guy who used to make announcements over the office call speaker to find someone when a delivery came, slide carousels for presentations, the team that made the slides, the woman who carried the slide projector, the copy machine, the curator of the company art collection, the man in the suit who fixed the PBX, the PBX, the guy in the mailroom (and the mailroom itself) and yes, sadly, the three magazines you used to read every month that were the sole source of business insight.
That's OK, though, because we also get to say goodbye to the two meetings a day we had with everyone in the office, mostly because everyone was in the office and we didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. And we get to say goodbye to finger-pointing when a project hits a hiccup, because the timelines online don't lie.
And don't bother sending me the annual Christmas letter or telling me you've been promoted or run an ad letting me know that you've launched a new product or landed a new client. I saw all of it as it happened, on Twitter.
I know it's difficult to imagine, but what's a briefcase? What's a brief? Is it something you brought with you to a chamber of commerce meeting? Or wore under your suit?
What's a suit?