Abusive managers at work.

Barbara was amidst her peers in meeting an important deadline on a high visibility project that would be critical to her boss' reputation, as well as the department.

It was important to Barbara's boss that she and others do whatever it takes to secure a timely completion, which is exactly what Barbara did. She worked tirelessly, two to four hours extra each day onsite, and even took work home she could finish after tending to her family's needs.

Throughout the project, Barbara's boss was stressed. In every update discussion they had, Barbara's boss made derogatory comments, implying her lack of faith in Barbara and her ability to deliver.

Barbara understood that her boss was under a lot of pressure however, anticipating her boss' behaviors and reactions prevented her from fully concentrating on the work at hand. Whenever the update calls were scheduled to occur, Barbara fretted over what negative comments she might hear this time.

Even worse was that these negative comments about Barbara were made during conference calls with her peers present. Although these peers were receiving similar negative reinforcement about themselves, the experience was no less embarrassing for Barbara.

While the project was successfully completed on time, Barbara and her teammates were depleted of their enthusiasm. Crossing the finish line was devoid of a victory celebration, and Barbara eventually left the organization.

Barbara is one of thousands of employees who experience the daily frustration of working for a boss who uses negative reinforcement to motivate subordinates. Managers who rule with such abusive tactics, failing to exhibit trust in their staff, minimize individual value and contributions.

The Institute for Organizational Performance states that 'trust alone predicts 46 percent of the difference between low and high performers'. Without trust, few individuals are willing to contribute their best. What makes the least sense is why any manager would want less than 100% from the people they hire?

What constitutes abusive behaviors?

There was a time when abusive behaviors were defined as those that were most obvious; yelling, slamming office doors, firing people on the spot unfairly. However, as the laws evolved to protect employees from unfair practices, the tendency of managers to use 'less obvious', abusive practices has increased.

Worse yet is that subjecting employees to sustained negative reinforcement has more long-term damaging affects than the occasional outbursts or over-reactive responses.

Some people think abuse is violent behavior, when in fact, synonyms for abuse also include: ill-treatment, mistreatment, misuse, cruelty, and exploitation.

There are managers who avoid confrontation by making joking comments to get their points across, believing that this practice is somehow less abusive. A comment such as, don't hold your breath while waiting for a call from Frank, is made in hopes that Frank will take the hint that his manager wants to hear from him more frequently. Or perhaps a manager makes a statement such as avoid talking to Sue in the morning before her coffee, hoping Sue gets the idea that communicating with her in the morning is difficult.

While both Frank and Sue may be in the wrong, using abusive tactics to mold positive behaviors is still 'abusive', regardless of how you spin it.

Another very common practice is making threats as to the consequences of taking earned vacation during times that are inconvenient for the manager. Many employees spend their entire vacations logging in and checking emails or taking calls, not because they choose to, but rather because they have been told to. Placing conditions on an employee's earned time off is an abusive practice.

There is a growing tendency towards these subtle and inappropriate practices because they are less obvious to others and less likely to be reported to Human Resources. Many employees believe that their boss' title gives them the permission to behave in such a manner.

Most important to highlight here is that any action that elicits less than a 100% contribution from an employee is simply a waste of time and money. There is zero value in hiring an employee and behaving in any way that prevents the employee from being loyal and wanting to contribute 100% to their boss, and to the organization.

How can you avoid abusive behaviors?

Clearly, the key factor is in how communications occur between manager and employee.

Step 1: Communicate honestly and in a timely fashion.

Be honest with employees at all times-when you are pleased and when you are displeased, and be sure to do so at the time of the pleasure or displeasure, or soon thereafter. Waiting until official performance review times or for the 'official talk' disseminates trust and respect.

Step 2: Eliminate personal opinions and judgments.

What you want or think is irrelevant. All communications should be focused on the following:

* What was asked or required?

* What specific actions are of concern?

* What is the corrective action needed?

* When is the corrective action expected?

Avoid the following:

* What you think you said or did;

* Why you don't like what the person did;

* What you would have done.

In every situation, offering observations is safer than opinions.

3: Maintain a balance between positive and negative feedback.

At the end of the day or week, mentally review the various conversations you have had with any subordinate. The number of times you provided positive or encouraging feedback should equal, or be close to, the number of negative or corrective interactions.

Step 4: Be an observer.

Monitor your actions and the responses you receive from others by simply being an observer of your own behaviors. We all know when we have spoken or acted without consideration of outcomes. Observing and correcting your behaviors regularly will help maintain a balanced style.

The demands of today's lifestyle and costs associated with housing, family, etc., do not afford many people the luxury of unemployment. Unfortunately, that can mean tolerating the behaviors of an abusive boss just to maintain a paycheck.

If you are a manager, the questions to ask yourself are as follows:

* Do your employees respect and trust you?

* Do they serve you and the organization willingly?

* Are you eliciting the best performance from your staff?

* Would you want to hear what they say about you to others?

Let's work towards changing the tendency towards abusive practices, and gain the loyalty and respect necessary to drive successful organizations.

Nancy Mercurio is President and co-owner of Leadership Training Systems Inc. (nmercurio@leadershiptrainingsys.com) and has 25 years experience as a business entrepreneur. She is author of Leadership With a Heart--The Human Side of Management, and Mastering Individual Effectiveness and is an internationally recognized consultant and televised trainer, whose expertise is in human relations and organizational behaviour.