All The Rage Don't blow your top: Turn your hostile reactions into positive solutions.
Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.
How many times have situations like these happened in the courseof your business?
- You lose a major account because a competitor underbidyou.
- Without consulting you, your partner made a key decision youdon't support.
- A vendor's late delivery means you and your staff willspend the weekend working.
These and thousands of similar scenarios that happen every dayare enough to make entrepreneurs very angry. This common andunderstandable human emotion is usually perceived as negative, butit is possible to turn your work-related anger into a positive andproductive force in your business.
To accomplish this, you need to understand what happens if youdon't use your anger constructively. Orlando, Florida, careerconsultant Barbara Adler says unmanaged anger can interfere withyour ability to function in a rational manner, inhibit effectivecommunication, and create external and internal distress bynegatively affecting your relationships with your customers andemployees, not to mention your physical health and well-being.
"Anger is a cue that something in a situation isn'tworking for us," Adler says. "The reason we sometimesexperience difficulty is we don't separate out the cue thattells us something isn't working from the process that enablesus to figure out how to correct the situation."
When you feel yourself becoming angry, an important first stepto take is to acknowledge your emotions. You can't managesomething if you deny it exists. Then decide what you need to do tomaintain control in the situation.
Adler says you may be able to simply take a few deep breaths,mentally count to 10, and then deal with the situation. Or you mayneed to put some physical space between you and the others involvedto regain your perspective before you say or do somethingyou'll regret later.
"That may mean you tell the other person something like'I am very angry about what has just happened. I need to stepdown the hall and get a drink of water and then come back and talkwith you about it,' " Adler says. "Or you could say,'I am very angry about this, and we need to discuss it. Can wetake a break and come back in five minutes?' "
This gives you a chance to determine whether the situationitself needs changing or whether you can resolve the issue bychanging the way you perceive the particular circumstances."In your timeout, clarify for yourself what it is about thesituation that is stimulating anger in you," Adler advises."Does it have something to do with the nature of theinteraction between the people involved? Does it have something todo with what your goals and expectations are? Or is it somethingthat doesn't have anything to do with that situation at all?Maybe you're feeling anger that really belongs someplaceelse."
In the latter case, the simple realization that you aretransferring anger from one situation where your feelings arejustified to another where they aren't may be enough to resolveyour feelings.
On the other hand, even though it's important to maintain aprofessional demeanor, don't make the mistake of always hidingyour anger-as long as you can control it. "You can communicateanger through effective use of voice tone and body language,"Adler says. "You don't have to scream or throw the pencilsharpener or otherwise indicate that you have lost control. If youneed to take a timeout, do it, but you also need to evaluatewhat's really going on so you can analyze what's notworking and think about what has to happen to resolve it."
The key to managing anger is to direct the energy it generatestoward productive rather than destructive action. Both you and yourbusiness will be healthier because of it.
Jacquelyn Lynn is a business writer in Winter Park,Florida.
