This Simple Habit Helps You Achieve Big Goals and Unlock a Life You 'Can't Believe,' Says Former Venture Capitalist Who's Navigated $4 Billion Sales Victoria Song, author of 'Bending Reality: How to Make the Impossible Probable,' reveals how to adopt a mindset for success.
By Amanda Breen Edited by Jessica Thomas
Key Takeaways
- Only 8% of U.S. adults manage to achieve their goals — and sometimes the biggest challenge comes from within.
- Song says there's no "secret strategy" that will help you reach big milestones, but digging into your "subconscious programming" can help establish a foundation for success.
Although most people probably consider having goals a must for personal and professional fulfillment, setting an intention is one thing — and seeing it through is another. A recent study from the University of Scranton revealed that just 8% of U.S. adults manage to achieve their goals. So, if you've been struggling to check off certain milestones, you're definitely not alone.
Why is it so difficult to go after the things we really want, even when we're determined to get them? For many of us, the biggest challenge comes from within, Victoria Song, former venture capitalist and author of Bending Reality: How to Make the Impossible Probable, tells Entrepreneur.
"Most of us believe we haven't yet achieved our goals because there's some secret strategy or tactic we don't know," Song explains. "Or worse, we believe it's because we aren't good enough and should work harder and longer hours. Or that we just haven't gotten lucky."
Song had a career in venture capital investing in fast-growing technology startups, but she didn't find the work fulfilling, so she pivoted to executive leadership coaching. Nowadays, she supports founders in transforming their beliefs around failure and success, scarcity and abundance, control and trust, and more.
Song has worked with numerous successful leaders, including supermodel and entrepreneur Cindy Crawford and Honey co-founders George Ruan and Ryan Hudson. She even coached the duo through PayPal's $4 billion acquisition of Honey.
According to Song, the "subconscious programming" behind our thoughts, feelings and actions prevents us from unlocking success. "As long as we're only focused on the conscious tactics and strategies, we're missing what lies in our blindspot (the subconscious thoughts and feelings) that actually determines success or failure of any tactic or strategy we attempt," she explains.
Related: 4 Steps to Setting and Achieving Your Goals in 2024
Song explores how to approach the "emotional layer" between " intellectual understanding" and "actual change" in Bending Reality. One way to begin is to become familiar with two distinct states of being: "contraction" and "expansion."
"Imagine an unpleasant event or something not going the way you want it to. Notice how your breathing shallows, your stomach or chest tightens, you may brace yourself — you feel contracted," Song says of the contraction state. "From here, you may become hypervigilant, go into fight/flight and attempt to control your reality."
Song warns that "any actions taken from this contractive place will only bend the odds out of your favor." That's why you should do your best to achieve a state of expansion — and a simple thought exercise can help you get there.
"Imagine a pleasant event or something going better than you hoped for," Song says. "Notice how your breathing slows, your chest opens up, you feel warm and fuzzy inside, happy, grateful, excited — you feel expansive. From here, you become open to possibilities, new solutions, inspiration, you trust things are working out and are able to let go of the tight grip you previously held on reality."
Related: 5 Goal-Setting Guidelines That Drive Success
In Bending Reality, Song dives deeper into how to release the pattern of "contractive responses" and "make expansion your default state" — essential to bending the odds back into your favor and achieving your goals.
"Depending on your subconscious programming, you can be living a life in avoidance of pain, failure or disappointment," Song says. "Or you can be living a life of magic and miracles, beyond your wildest imagination, as you courageously say to life, 'Bring it' and gratefully exclaim, 'I can't believe this is my life!'"
