Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.
"The really successful entrepreneurs have learned to failwell." So says Carol Orsborn, author of the bestsellingInner Excellence at Work: The Path to Meaning, Spirit andSuccess (Amacom). And she should know: Orsborn has been there,and she has some messages for hardworking entrepreneurs.
Ask yourself these questions: Do you do everything yourselfbecause it's too much trouble to train others to do thingsright? Do you get anxious just hanging out with family or friendsbecause there's so much work to do? Are you burned out? Do youget high on the feeling of being in control? Are you terrified offailure? According to Orsborn, a yes to any of these questionsmeans you're headed for a crash. Just like she was a fewdecades ago.
In 1971, Orsborn and her husband started a public relationsagency that eventually became nationally known. They quicklylearned that they and their 21-member staff were working too hardto pay full attention to details. When they announced a morerelaxed approach, all but a few of their driven staff decided toleave, and the couple lost most of their 15 clients.
But gradually, success returned. Today, The Orsborn Companykeeps the client list down to between five and 10. They've evenexpanded beyond PR to managing entertainers, and Carol makes timefor a lot of writing and speaking. Yet, with just one employee,sales are nearly what they were at the company's frantic highpoint.
Out of experience and a sense of humor, Carol foundedOverachievers Anonymous, issuing 12,000 membership cards to theofficially overcommitted. The only rules: no meetings, no classes,no fund-raisers. The Orsborns moved from San Francisco toNashville, Tennessee, where Carol pursued a graduate degree inreligion at Nashville's Vanderbilt University, and where sheovercame a bout with breast cancer. She began writing books,including The Art of Resilience (Crown Publishing) andHow to Speak the Language of Healing (Conari Press);appearing in the media (Oprah, The Today Show); and speaking atuniversities, at hospitals and to other professional audiences.
Some of the business groups she spoke to weren't receptiveto her evolving philosophy that nurturing personal values andmaintaining a quality of life are the foundation of real andlong-term success. After one speech, a comment card came back toher: "Get real."
Some years later, that person is probably reading Carol'slatest bestseller. We asked her to share some insight. And if youbelieve that by working harder and smarter you'll be able toanswer that eternal question, "Are we having fun yet?,"then you need to listen up and loosen up.
Scott S. Smith:Why is it counterproductive to workharder and harder to get the job done?
Carol Orsborn: It can produce short-term results, buteverything in nature needs cycles and balance. It's okay torise to the occasion in a crisis, but you can easily forget to comedown again because it's addictive and then you get exhausted.When you operate on empty, you become fearful and reactive and youover-control. You end up losing perspective and don't see whatyou're really doing, don't take time to notice howdisgruntled your staff is. Noticing takes quiet time,contemplation, listening.
Think of a Chinese finger puzzle. The harder you try to pull outyour fingers, the more it tightens. What's counterintuitive isthat if you relax you can get out.
Smith:It's hard for anyone with entrepreneurialdrive to shut off that overachieving engine.
Orsborn: At the point when the main motivation transformsfrom inspiration and service to greed and fear, you're introuble. And when employees operate out of that basis, theyaren't productive.
Smith:How do you work fewer hours and yet bring inthe sales you had when you had a much bigger staff?
Orsborn: We're more efficient now because we havesome perspective. It's amazing how much time is wasted havingmeetings about meetings. Our goal was to have a company thatsupported our lives, not the other way around. It takes disciplineto decide which clients to take and what promises to make.
Smith:You mention that some of the top businessleaders make a habit of walking around the block or doing somethingcreative before a major decision is made.
Orsborn: People know they have subconscious wisdom, butthey don't apply it as often as they should. As work-driven asthe Japanese are, they don't get right on someone to get backto work if they're daydreaming a bit. Western businesstradition doesn't encourage such introspection.
We have this illusion that we can be in control of everything,and that's what some people seem to think is spirituality. Truespirituality is about coming to terms with the parts of ourselvesand the world, including business, that are not under our controland making peace with that.
Smith:What's so wrong about trying to controleverything?
Orsborn: It's unrealistic, and what happens whensomething goes wrong? What will it do to you? So many books teachhow to control things with new techniques. But you can't relyon them entirely because sooner or later something will happen toyou that you couldn't foresee.
Smith:How does spirituality differ from self-helpprograms?
Orsborn: Spirituality has to do with finding purpose andinspiration regardless of what's happening to you. The moreokay you are with the deeper issues about meaning, the greater yourchance of having a real experience of success. Business seminarsaddress logical ways to master things in a world of winners andlosers, but they don't really deal with what happens whenyou've done everything in your power and things still go wrong.Too many companies slap on motivation programs like Band-Aids anddon't deal with the underlying issues, like whether there is aculture of distrust that needs to be changed.
Smith:What do you say to someone who suddenly findshimself or herself dissatisfied with work that was previouslyfulfilling?
Orsborn: It can mean a thousand things. It might mean youjust need to take a break. I've seen people sell theircompanies because they were unhappy and only later realize theyjust needed a vacation. I've also known others who had justoutgrown their companies. Too often, people think they'reuninspired because things are slipping and they need to work harderto get remotivated. That's the wrong thing to do. You need toget in touch with what's going on by contemplation. Thatdoesn't mean you have to stop everything-too many of us are allon or all off, but there is a happy medium.
Smith:What about a step down from boredom, whensomeone is experiencing pain and fear?
Orsborn: The interesting thing is that every religionvalues periods of breakdown as part of constructive transition.When you're falling apart, the status quo has the least hold onyou and you can make radical changes. A lot of"spiritual" books teach you that if you fall off thecliff, you need to get back up as soon as possible. What I'msaying is that staying on the side of the cliff is a good thing.When things are out of your control, your ability to have faith cankeep you inspired even when things are falling apart around you.People who let themselves fall into the void are courageous, andultimately they learn how to put things back together in a betterway. What I found is that this is the fastest road to long-termsuccess.
That doesn't mean you do nothing. The really successfulentrepreneurs have learned to fail well. The truth is, when weconfront our fears, they're not as bad as we thought. If weopen into the pain and hurt, the wounds have the opportunity toheal.
Smith:You say that we can become enthralled withunhappiness. Why?
Orsborn: If you haven't experienced true happinessfor a while, you forget what it really is. It isn't theshort-term high you might have by getting a new car or a newclient; it's the experience of deep connectedness and love. Somany people feel cheated because they did what society said andweren't rewarded like they think they should have been. Yetdesperation can be your best friend because you can open up to newopportunities.
Smith:How do you cultivate synchronicities andintuition so you know your inner wisdom?
Orsborn: The ability to be aware of these things isfragile, and the more you try to force things to bend to your will,the less space there is for them to show up.
Smith:What's the role of humility in achievingbusiness success?
Orsborn: It's arrogant to insist you can make ithappen, that it's all up to you to do on your own. You can getshort-term success from that, but eventually something will gowrong that you won't be able to handle. Some people are makingtheir millions in this economy, and it looks like they're usingforce of will. It seems like they can never have enough, and thenthey spend their careers managing these empires while sacrificingpersonal relationships, downtime and health. There's adifference between what looks like success and the experience oftrue success.
Pay attention to the nurturing of your heart-your greatestexperience of success will come as a byproduct of the growth ofyour spirit.
Scott S. Smith writes about business issues for a variety ofpublications, including Investor's BusinessDaily.
