Treasure Hunt Searching for some sparkling ad copy? It might be right under your nose.

Instead of looking heavenward, as many of us do, for inspirationon how to improve our advertising, sometimes it pays to do just theopposite: Look downward. By that I mean look down into the belly ofyour current advertising copy for any buried treasure that mightmerit boosting to the top, perhaps even as a stronger, moreeye-catching headline than the one you're using.

I say this because there have been several times a client hasanointed me an advertising Einstein as the result of a smart adconcept I've presented, only to learn the idea was actuallytheirs. I merely found it lying mildewed in the fourth paragraph oftheir old advertising copy and raised it to its rightful place.You'd be surprised how much potentially powerful, freshheadline material lies hidden below the surface of a lot ofadvertising efforts.

That's my primary message to Don Sims of Lamar, Arkansas,who wrote recently. Sims is in the seminar field, taking the stageevery week on behalf of a program called "Debt-Free andProsperous Living." The seminar describes a system ofsatisfying your debts within a few years and then using the moneyyou would have spent on your now-paid mortgage to build aretirement nest egg. The flier Sims sends out to solicit churchgroups and other prospective audiences across the country is notweak by any means; some provocative ideas are persuasivelycommunicated. But with a little burnishing, it could become evenstronger.

Lower Your Sights

My first take on eyeballing Sims' flier is that theheadline, although catchy, was placed too high visually. Thisisn't an egregious sin; however, for the same reason companieslike to have their products at eye-level on supermarket shelves,headlines should also be at eye level for maximum impact. Second,after reading the whole flier, I felt that the first bulleted itemin the copy, "How to turn every dollar of debt, including yourmortgage, into $11.83 of real wealth" and so on, offered evenmore potential benefit than the promise in the headline. So myrecommendation is to use a distilled version of that bulleted pointas the new headline, while using the essence of the originalheadline in the subhead.

Thus, the new headline would read: "Turn Your Every Dollarof Debt Into $11.83 of Wealth. Here's how." This headlinewould be followed by a subhead that said: "Attend one powerfulseminar and learn how to be debt-free in about five years, nomatter what your circumstances . . . while also safely building a$1 million+ retirement nest egg."

Moreover, I thought the name of the seminar, "Debt-Free andProsperous Living," was essentially buried and should not onlybe exhumed and made much more prominent but trumpeted as "Theseminar that's changing the lives of families acrossAmerica." This new element would be bannered somewhere nearthe bottom of the ad.

The new headline is a call to action that makes a veryprovocative promise. This approach challenges readers to makethings happen, take charge and alter their situation for thebetter. The "Here's how" phrase provokes them to readthe explanatory subhead.

This headline and subhead combination is the first thing thereader sees and responds to. The second element that attracts theeye is the seminar name, now emblazoned in large type at thebottom. Then the third most noticeable component is the new set ofBODYimonial columns columns I've put on either side of the mainselling copy. Here again, we're unearthing buried treasurebecause these golden comments from previous seminar attendees werenot immediately noticeable in the copy. In this case, they were onthe back of the flier but really deserved to be on the front.Unfortunately, there are no names attached to the quotes, whichtakes away a little of their power, but the page is certainly morepotent because of their presence. Sims also has two very strong andmuch longer BODYimonials from church pastors on the back of hiscurrent flier. I would retain these elements for the back of thenew piece.

I've retained much of the rest of Sims' flier copybecause, as mentioned, a lot of it is very solid and persuasive.But perhaps with the new swipes of the copywriter's word brush,the flier will be even more attention-getting.

Looks Like . . .

Is it an ad--or editorial? Sometimes it's hard totell.

I recently created an "advertorial" for one of mycorporate clients, and it reminded me how strong this approach canbe for your advertising efforts--and Don Sims' efforts as well.An advertorial, for those not already familiar with the concept, isan ad that looks like editorial material--hence the hybridizedname. Advertorials are written and designed to look like an articlein a magazine or newspaper. More often than not, publications inwhich they run insist that you label them--in small letters at thetop--"advertisement," lest the readers confuse it withthe publication's real editorial.

Advertorials can be strong because they cause the reader toswitch gears and read promotional matter as news, and thus withincreased credibility and interest. Even though prospects usuallyrealize it's an ad in editorial clothing, they are stillwilling to take it at face value and give you the opportunity tosell them journalistically. In addition, because they look likeeditorial, readers may be drawn to advertorials visually, givingthem an advantage over traditional-looking ads that prospects maypass over.

The key rule to remember is to make sure the tone and manner ofthe copy is editorial-like and the overall look of the"ad" is such that it could be mistaken for a realnewspaper or magazine story. Naturally, at the bottom you can optfor your logo and phone number, but other than that, keep itstrictly editorial-looking.

To give you an idea how to write an advertorial headline,I'll relate the one I crafted to start off the piece for myclient. The company is an advertising agency that also specializesin buying air time for infomercials and other direct-response TV(DRTV) efforts that it produces for its clients. The agency wantedto use its well-known CEO in an advertorial that spoke about theimportance of seeking professional assistance in this importantarea, as well as the inherent dangers of going with lessexperienced firms. My advertorial headline was "Poor MediaJudgement `A Scandal,' Says DRTV Pioneer; Urges ScientificApproach."

It sounds like a newspaper story--and looks and reads like one,too. How would I write an advertorial

headline for Don Sims' seminar flier? "End Debt in FiveYears and Retire With $1 Million+, Says Expert." It could bejust the newsy hook that catches the browsing reader--and bringsprospects to the door.

Before:

This ad has some strong copy, but does it pull you in by theearlobes and demand

that you read it? Not quite yet.

1. A good headline, but you need a ladder to get to it.Headlines should be at
eye level.

2. Solid bulleted points, but the seminar name needs more of atrumpet-sounding presence.

After:

1. This headline makes more of a provocative promise.

2. The BODYimonials add credibility and a "gotta signup" urgency.

3. The seminar name is now a

dramatic focus and emphasizes a benefit.