8 Subtle Hints that People Don't Respect You — and How to Fix Them While you have to earn respect, you don't have to deal with disrespect in the meantime.
By John Rampton Edited by Mark Klekas
Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.
Respect. It permeates every interaction, every word, every glance. There are times, however, when disrespect lurks beneath the surface, hidden in awkward silences, passive-aggressive jabs, or gradual erosion of boundaries.
It's easy to feel unheard and undervalued when you receive subtle hints like these. However, before you spiral into self-doubt, take a deep breath. In order to regain your power and cultivate respect, you must recognize these red flags.
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1. Your conversations are one-sided
There are times when you pour your heart out, share your ideas, and give instructions, but only to be met with a distracted gaze or a grunt of acknowledgment. In other words, the conversations never flow back. And, even worse, your thoughts are discarded like week-old leftovers.
Because of this, your value is undermined and your voice is silenced.
It is important to remember that effective communication is a two-way street. When conveying your message, remember to listen carefully and observe to ensure that it is understood.
2. Your time is stolen
There are many types of "time thieves," and often, their methods are not so obvious. The following are some ways people steal your time, both consciously and unconsciously:
- Excessive Meetings: Meetings that are not well-organized or relevant.
- Micromanagement: Constant oversight and unnecessary scrutiny from supervisors.
- Procrastination: Indulging in non-essential tasks or delaying important ones.
- Interruptions: Constant interruptions from colleagues, phone calls, emails, or social media notifications.
- Unclear Goals and Priorities: Without clear objectives and priorities, time can be spent on tasks that do not contribute to overall goals.
- Indecisiveness: Spending too much time deliberating over decisions without taking action can lead to stagnation.
The most valuable asset you have is your time. It is possible to build a life that is truly yours by being mindful of how you spend it and taking steps to protect it. To protect your time, start by setting clear boundaries and prioritizing tasks based on their importance and alignment with your goals. Practice effective time management techniques, and say no to tasks that don't concern or benefit you.
3. You are constantly interrupted
You're mid-sentence when someone interjects. It doesn't stop there. Your thoughts are hijacked before they even hit the ground. This is more than just an annoyance. These interruptions say, "Your voice isn't as important as mine."
To address this issue, establish clear boundaries and communicate assertively about the importance of uninterrupted dialogue. Encouraging mutual respect for each other's thoughts and perspectives can foster a more inclusive and equitable conversation environment.
Related: Interruptions Are Inevitable, but With These Strategies, You Can Quickly Regain Focus
4. You experience backhanded flattery
"You look ... interesting today," they mutter, smirking at your outfit. They might say, "That was ... brave of you to do that!" after a presentation.
When insults are disguised as compliments, your confidence can be chipped away slowly. As a result, you may begin to question your own decisions. You should never question your value, whether it is subtle or blatant. There is no reason why you should not be respected. Embrace that truth and let it shield you from disrespect.
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If someone still manages to make you feel down, choose your company wisely. You should surround yourself with people who respect and celebrate your individuality and listen to you.
5. Your needs and opinions are disregarded
You may express a concern or an opinion that's met with a dismissive wave or a condescending "Don't worry, you'll figure it out." Sometimes, others can even belittle your feelings. As a result of this lack of consideration, your perspective and well-being do not seem to matter to them.
Don't forget to express your needs, even if that means repeating yourself. Speak up if you have concerns or disappointments. The key to any healthy relationship is assertive communication. If you must, have the person you're interacting with repeat what you say, so you know they heard you.
6. You feel like an afterthought
Someone who values you will make you a priority in their life. You will be able to reach out to them, they will actively listen to you and they will be interested in your experiences. In contrast, if you are consistently treated as an afterthought, something is not right.
If you are constantly neglected and the effort feels one-sided, it's a strong indication that you're not valued enough.
When you feel this way, take a moment to pause. Don't react impulsively. Take a breath first. Does this happen often or just once in a while? Is it better to distance yourself from the disrespect rather than engage in a confrontation? Make sure you prioritize your mental and emotional health when you pick your battles.
7. They have a reputation for broken promises
It is important to remember that actions speak louder than words. When someone truly values you, their actions will reflect that value.
When someone values you, you can count on them to show up when you need them and to keep their promises. You may know someone doesn't value you if they consistently disrespect your time by being late or flaky. They may make excuses rather than take responsibility for their actions.
To address a pattern of broken promises, have a candid conversation with the individual, expressing how their unreliability affects trust. Setting clear expectations moving forward, along with holding them accountable for their commitments, can help rebuild trust and prevent further disappointment. Additionally, assessing whether the relationship is worth maintaining in light of repeated breaches may be necessary for your own well-being.
8. They encroach on your boundaries
Relentless demands and expectations invade personal space, waste time, and push boundaries. As you go through this process, you may feel as though your autonomy is under siege, as if your right to privacy and self-determination is violated.
Establish clearly defined expectations, timeframes, and non-negotiables. It is also okay to say "no" without feeling guilty or apologizing. If someone continues to disregard your boundaries despite clear communication, it's essential to address the issue directly. Politely but firmly reiterate your boundaries and the importance of respecting them. If the behavior persists, consider escalating the matter to a higher authority.
Related: Employee or Friend? How to Maintain Boundaries with the People Who Work for You
Always respect yourself
The most important thing is to remember that everyone deserves to be in relationships where they feel cherished, respected, and valued. You might want to re-evaluate your relationship if you are consistently experiencing the signs mentioned above. It may be best to walk away from the person if they won't listen to your concerns or change their behavior.
Of course, that's easier said than done. Don't forget that reclaiming respect is a journey, not an endpoint. Throughout the process, there will be stumbles and setbacks, as well as moments of self-doubt. You can create a life filled with respect by being aware of subtle hints, setting healthy boundaries and prioritizing your own worth.
