How to Handle Rejection at Different Stages of Your Career and Business We all face rejection at some point in life. Here's how to cope with it and learn from it.
By John Rampton Edited by Mark Klekas
Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.
At some point, everyone will experience rejection — no matter how successful they are. It may sound harsh, but that's just the way it is.
Even so, rejection doesn't always come easy. As it turns out, neurologically, there is not much difference between the physical pain of injury and the emotional pain of rejection, according to a study conducted by the University of Michigan
If you are rejected by a potential investor, employer, customer or romantic partner, you feel pain. When you are rejected or stub your toe, your brain activates the same area.
There is more to rejection than just physical pain; it appeals to our need for belonging and acceptance. Despite the hurt, it's important to remember that someone's rejection of your strengths doesn't have to bring you down. Regardless of your career or business stage, these strategies can help you deal with rejection.
Related: 4 Ways to Handle and Overcome Your Fear of Rejection
1. Let out a scream
Kimanzi Constable reminds us that we are all human and that bottling up feelings and emotions will not work. You have to let it out.
"Otherwise, your temper might flare up eventually — and you'll regret it," Constable wrote. He added, "screaming, running, and punching your mini punching bag on your desk."
Expression is the first step to getting through rejection. Take a second to let out the raw emotions so you can start to gather your thoughts.
2. Lessons are always present
I haven't figured out how to let out a scream. However, I have worked on the path of looking for lessons that can be learned from rejection.
Initially, it may not seem like it, but you can always learn something from any experience — especially rejection. Setbacks are part of life and part of any path that you pursue. For example, you may not have been able to attract investors because of a weak business plan. There may have been a mistake in handling a customer service issue. Sometimes you will experience rejection in your business due to your lack of growth.
The important thing is to look for ways to improve regardless of the reason for rejection. Moreover, you shouldn't use rejection as an excuse to give up. Learn to reframe any setback or rejection as your opportunity for improvement.
3. Embrace the pain, but don't let it overwhelm you
Entrepreneurs feel deeply personal about every part of their work, and rejection can be a real emotional blow after pouring your life, energy and passion into something.
Ron Carucci wrote in Forbes, "On one end of the spectrum, there are entrepreneurs who try to bury their feelings of disappointment or sadness after a rejection. But this emotional suppression can eventually return into other destructive behaviors — both at work and in one's personal life."
When you only concentrate on the bad, or where you or anyone has a failing — it will stop all progress for you and your business.
Sometimes it helps to stop and process what is happening in your mind and heart. Why have you allowed something to hurt you this much? Take a moment to think about what you perceive you have lost.
4. Have a Plan B
The more options you have, the less impact one rejection will have since you can easily switch to another path. In the event that you are rejected and need to overcome rejection, you should always be strategic by creating and executing a plan B.
When it comes to creating Plan B, the hardest part is accepting that Plan A could fail. Entrepreneurs don't start businesses because they think the idea they're developing will fail, has a critical flaw, or is located in a natural disaster-prone area. Every single day stuff happens in business that can cause anything from rejection to failure of your business.
What should you do first and foremost to deal with Plan B? Accepting that Plan B is a necessity doesn't mean you give up or that your business concept will fail. In reality, having a Plan B in place may provide the realistic approach you need to implement Plan A successfully. It may also decrease feelings of anxiety or worry.
Related: Why Your Plan B Is Better Than Plan A
5. Take the "no" and pivot
You may be able to offer the other party other services instead of dwelling on the negative outcome.
Here's an example from Alaina G. Levine in Science. At the university where she worked, she was invited to apply for a promotion. After applying, she believed she was guaranteed the job, only to be informed that another candidate had been selected instead.
Her response? In her thank you note, she offered to help in any way she could for the hired new employee.
In their meeting, Levine shared insights into the university's structure and culture. When the employee moved to a new role a few months later, Levine herself was hired to replace the person who got the job she wanted initially. Despite not being selected for the job at first — Levine believes that she made a big difference by offering to help.
6. G.R.O.W.
Cigna's National Medical Executive for Behavioral Health, Dr. Stuart Lustig, developed a mental exercise called G.R.O.W. that helps people overcome rejection.
Raj Tawney explains this method in a published article from Harvard Business Review. To handle this situation, you'll want to follow these steps; Tawney says to work through this acronym:
- G: Ground yourself in the situation. Despite only being a professional writer for over three years, Tawney is proud of his accomplishments.
- R: Recognize what you can control. By choosing to grow rather than dwell, he can maintain his own narrative without compromising it.
- O: Organize your resources. If editors don't like the way he presents his story, he can revise it or present it differently. In addition, friends and fellow writers can provide honest feedback about his work.
- W: Work with your community for support. For Tawney, his wife provides a sense of community.
"If you walk away remembering one thing, let it be this," Tawney concludes, "Nobody will believe in you with the same commitment and vigor as you believe in yourself."
7. Stop comparing yourselves to others
Humans are prone to comparing themselves to others. From time to time, it can be helpful to make comparisons. It can inspire you to make changes and provide a blueprint for improvement. But, as Theodore Roosevelt once said, "Comparison is the thief of joy."
Comparisons can lead to depression and low self-esteem when done in excess. As a result of feeling "not good enough," we become frustrated with ourselves or resentful.
Continued comparisons result in feelings of jealousy, frustration and hopelessness. This behavior can lead to chronic depression and anxiety if unaddressed. Try to improve yourself rather than compare yourself to others, and most importantly — be patient and kind to yourself and keep a positive attitude.
8. Always be prepared for rejection
Rejection is always a possible outcome, no matter how hard you try or how good you think your business ideas or plans are.
You should strive to surpass your own goals and take risks even when you fear rejection. This will ultimately enhance your likelihood of achieving success. Also, if you're prepared for rejection, it will make it easier for you to cope with the challenges.
Essentially, prepare yourself for the worst while doing your best. You can use rejection as a motivating force instead of an excuse to bury your head in the sand.
9. Keep your health in check
Don't forget to pay attention to your physical and mental health. It's easy to neglect your health and well-being when you're overtaken by disappointment. Your brain can't concentrate and refrain from ruminating about rejection when you exercise or work on learning a new skill. Don't ruminate in the past; remember to focus on the present.
You should seek professional assistance if your low mood persists for over two weeks despite your best efforts. Do not be afraid to reach out to a mental health professional if you are experiencing mental distress. To overcome the negative feelings and thoughts associated with rejection, you can work with a counselor or psychotherapist.
Related: 10 Ways to Turn Your Life Around for the Better
10. Build resilience
A resilient mindset is essential to succeed in today's rapidly changing workplace and companies' transformation.
Learning to cope with disappointments and bounce back from setbacks is possible by viewing each instance as a challenge for you to grow both as an individual and as a rebounder. To achieve professional success, you must overcome hurdles.
11. Don't let rejection define your business
The loss of a team member or the refusal of an investor is not the end of the world. In other words, it does not indicate that you were not right for the opportunity.
Don't throw in the towel — keep trying until you succeed. Most successful entrepreneurs have experienced setbacks, rejections, and mighty failures at various points in their careers and businesses. Rejection means you've tried. Risks are essential to success, after all.
Rejection shouldn't discourage you. Sure, you can throw yourself a little pity party. Afterward, however, it's time to get back to work building a successful career and business.
