8 Body Language Cues That Lead to Better Business Connections A brief guide to what you're saying when you're not saying it.

Vanessa Van Edwards nods at me. I nod back. Why did we just do that?

"Our cues are contagious in a good way," she says. "Because they create a cue cycle."

Van Edwards geeks out on these things. She is, in her words, "a recovering awkward person" who has built a career out of studying human behavior. Now, through her company Science of People, she teaches introverts and ambiverts how to connect with others and succeed. Her new book, Cues: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication, examines the little signals that we send to each other — and how, by knowing how to trigger and use those signals, people can take more control of their lives.

Which brings us back to the cue cycle. The result of a phenomenon called mirroring, cue cycles happen when people unconsciously mimic each other's behavior. Lean in during a conversation, and the person you're talking to will lean in. Stretch out, and the person will likely do the same. If you know this will happen, you can use it to your advantage.

"Let's say you're meeting with your team," Van Edwards says. "You want everyone to open up and feel really collaborative. So you do the nonverbal signals and the vocal sig- nals of collaboration — and yes, there are cues that actually help people be more collabora- tive." They include holding your hands open, palms facing upward, as a gesture of welcom- ing. A slow, triple nod encourages people to talk longer — but be careful not to do it too quickly because that can suggest impatience. And you'll want to keep your body open, as opposed to crossing your arms over your chest, which can make you seem closed off.

Related: How to Display the Ideal Body Language When Networking

Your team will mirror these cues, "which makes them internally more collaborative," Van Edwards says. "And then they send it back to you, which also makes you more collaborative, and you get this beautiful feedback loop."

It's natural to think of body language as something people respond to when they are physically together, but Van Edwards says that in remote work environments, these cues are even more important. "In a world where a lot of our interactions feel a little out of control, a little confusing, and we hop on videos and we're desperately trying to bridge the gap because there are no handshakes, these cues can speed up connection."

Below, we break down eight of the easiest ways to connect — either in person or in your next virtual meeting.

Note: This article references many scientific studies; they are all listed at the bottom.

1. Lean In to Engage

Research has found that when you lean even a few inches forward, it activates a specific part of your brain that is action-oriented," Van Edwards says. Why? Leaning is often a precursor to action: If we want to touch something or see something better, for example, we lean toward it. So if you want to show someone you're engaged, lean forward when they're talking. "This shows them, "I respect what you're saying so much, I am ready to take action,'" she says. Likewise, if you're feeling tired or disengaged from your work, physically lean toward your computer or book. "It will wake your brain up."

2. Step Back to Refresh

When we step backward or lean away from someone, we're usually signaling that we don't like something or that we're not being completely honest. But sometimes there is a good reason to put a little distance between yourself and your audience: When you feel adrift, physically moving backward can help you regain control. For example, if you're speaking to a group and lose your train of thought, take a step backward. If you're deep in a project and feel overwhelmed, lean back in your chair. "Researchers found that your brain is actually able to get literal mental distance from it," Van Edwards says.

3. Ditch Your "Comfort Gestures"

When people have uncomfortable conversations, they tend to fidget. Van Edwards calls these "comfort gestures" — little movements we make, often with our hands or faces, to distract ourselves from the discomfort of the situation.

This is problematic for a few big reasons. Multiple studies find that comfort gestures make a person look less charismatic. They also draw the audience's attention away from the speaker's message and toward their movements. And perhaps most importantly, they make other people uncomfortable. One study even found that when a speaker fidgeted onstage, the audience members' stress levels rose.

So what can you do to appear more calming and authoritative?

To stop your comfort gestures, you first need to recognize what they are. Here are some common ones: wringing hands, swaying, cracking knuckles, rubbing arms, biting pens, and bouncing.

You can't stop comfort gestures all at once, Van Edwards says. It's why she recommends using "displacement tactics" — which is to say, giving our nervous bodies something more focused to do. Here are six to try:

• Hold a pen,
• Stop wearing jewelry or clothes that require adjustments
• Carry a mug of coffee or tea
• Use a clicker during presentations
• Lean against a podium
• Get your hair out of your face

Related: One Negotiation Expert Shares the 4 Body Language Cues Every Entrepreneur Should Recognize

4. Connect "Physically" Over Video

Want to put someone at ease when you're on a video call, or encourage more connections among teams? "The first 10 words out of your mouth in a video meeting or phone call should include some kind of engagement word," Van Edwards says. You might say, for example, "I'm sending you a virtual high five!"

Why does it work? Van Edwards wasn't sure it would — so she ran a test.

When we touch other people, our bodies physically react by producing the chemicals oxytocin and dopamine, which in turn help us feel more comfortable and connected. Van Edwards wondered if our bodies react similarly to the mere idea of physical contact. To find out, she partnered with Claremont Graduate University psychology professor Paul J. Zak on an experiment. They had participants wear a device that monitored the physiological changes in their bodies and then split the participants into groups: One group watched a video featuring someone greeting people in a positive way but making no reference to physical touch. The second group watched a video of someone greeting people with lots of references to touching, saying things like, "I wish I could give you a cheek kiss from where I am," or "Sending a virtual high five your way."

The results were notable. The group who watched the "touch words" videos had a 100% higher physiological response than the other group had to its more neutral videos.

5. Raise Eyebrows to Engage

We raise our eyebrows to communicate excitement or curiosity or simply signal that we want to engage, studies show. Although we often do this unconsciously, there are good ways to do it with intention. For introverts, raising eyebrows can be a helpful, easy way to begin engaging. "If you are talking, and you're noticing you're not getting a lot of eyebrow raises," Van Edwards says, "it might be someone else's turn."

6. Lengthen Your Neck to Show Competence

When we're anxious or afraid, we shrink into ourselves — shoulders up, head down. That means a very short distance between earlobe and shoulder. "If you want to look more competent, all you have to do is maximize that length," Van Edwards says. It allows us to take up more space, which helps us look loose and confident. To help achieve it, Van Edwards suggests using chairs with armrests: If you consciously keep your arms on the rests, you'll ensure your shoulders stay low.

Related: 5 Body Language Cues Entrepreneurs Should Pay Attention to in Any Meeting

7. Watch People's Lips

When someone tightens their lips into a line, they're often holding back or disengaging. That's the opposite of warmth and confidence — so it's an important thing to watch out for. "When you see someone doing this, that is the perfect time to say something like, "John, did I miss anything there?' or "Hey, Mary, any questions?'" Van Edwards says. If you want to see the lip purse in action, she says, just watch Shark Tank: The Sharks often purse their lips before saying they're out.

8. Never Furrow Your Brow

A furrowed brow doesn't just show us to be unhappy or less agreeable — it actually causes us to feel more negative emotions, researchers have found. (See study No. 6.) This is true even if you're furrowing for unrelated reasons, like if you're standing in the sun without sunglasses. The same facial muscles are engaged when you're angry or just squinting in the sun.