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Getting People to Say Yes When Everyone Isn't on Board

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The problem: Do you ever feel that you’re herding a group of feisty cats instead of leading a meeting because your team members simply can’t agree?  Well, take comfort in knowing that this common problem plagues most meeting facilitators at one point or another.  Indeed, if your group is disagreeing vehemently (but respectfully), that’s a sign of healthy conflict -- you’re likely on your way to some great ideas and solutions.  That said, you still have your work cut out for you: getting everyone to agree. 

The good news is that reaching a consensus decision does not mean that a two-hour session must turn into a two-week session -- or worse, a real knock, down drag out. 

Let’s explore a few tips you can use the next time you’re faced with this situation:

Define consensus. Remember first that consensus does NOT mean everyone gets exactly what they want.  It does mean that everyone can live with the decision and support it outside the team.

Related: How to Feel More Engaged and Connected

Set guidelines. Develop a ground rule with the team about how the group will make decisions BEFORE you need to make those decisions.  If the group has already reached agreement on the decision process, making those subsequent decisions becomes much easier (and less emotionally charged). 

For example, if the group has already agreed on the decision criteria and selection process before initiating the discussion of which employee gets the “Employee of the Year” award, this decision suddenly becomes much easier.

Separate and clarify. When you get bogged down in disagreement, separate areas of agreement and disagreement.  Clearly identify and document areas of agreement to continue to move the group forward.  For areas of disagreement, clarify the range of disagreement. 

For instance, let's say there were two employees named Mike and Beth and they are disagreeing on the cycle time. You could say something like, "Mike proposes two days while Beth thinks one day is a better target, so we have a difference of opinion of one day.  Is that correct?"

Related: 4 Lessons From the Worst Business Meeting Ever

Get others involved. Sometimes we can’t agree because we don’t have enough information and we’re operating based on poorly informed assumptions.  Inviting key stakeholders to participate in the discussion like IT experts, members of the leadership team, HR or consultants can often shed light on critical issues and help the group more easily expose the best alternative.

Change things up. If you have a tendency to think the group may be quibbling over trivial differences, consider suggesting that they conduct the remainder of the meeting standing (until a decision is reached).  This technique is sometimes used as an “out-of-the-box” method for encouraging brevity and a spirit of compromise.

Have a group decision. Use a facilitation technique that encourages collaborative-decision making (e.g. affinity diagramming, dot voting, etc.)  These techniques typically offer each participant a certain number of votes. Then participants vote simultaneously and the option(s) receiving the highest numbers of votes overall is typically selected.

Ensure it isn't personal. If you sense that the disagreements may be driven by personality conflicts or other personal reasons, address those issues offline in a more private setting with the individuals involved.

Related: 5 Ways to Avoid Miscommunication With Your Employees

Dana Brownlee

Written By

Having run a small business over the past decade, Dana Brownlee is an advocate for helping other small businesses succeed.  She is president of Atlanta-based training company Professionalism Matters and is an acclaimed keynote speaker, corporate trainer and team development consultant.