The debt-ceiling debacle in Washington serves as a reminder of what can happen if negotiations are handled badly. If the issues they were dealing with were not so serious, I would think that the parties did not actually want to reach an agreement. More likely the parties have chosen to ignore important negotiating principles for the purpose of trying to score political points.
What lessons can entrepreneurs learn from the mistakes the president and Congress have made? Once parties have come to an impasse, how can they get beyond that and come to an agreement?
The budget talks illustrate two fundamental mistakes that negotiators often make. The first is to think that you can pressure the other side to agree by issuing threats. Threats generally cause the other side to harden their position rather than being seen as caving in. The second is to make proposals that you are forced to back off from because you cannot deliver the other parties who need to agree to them.
Even if you do a better job negotiating than the folks in Washington, you can still run the risk of reaching a standoff at some point. Too often this results in the parties walking away without an agreement. Ordinarily this is a bad outcome for everyone involved. In high-stakes negotiations, it can be ruinous. Here are some tips to help you get beyond an impasse.
- When you have reached a stalemate and things have gotten heated, take a break. Defuse the emotions. Let everyone cool down.
- When you come back, set aside the issue causing the impasse. Talk about other things. Focus on items where you have mutual interests and agreement can be more readily reached. Keeping everyone talking and moving the negotiations in a positive direction builds momentum. As progress is made on other issues, the parties become invested in finding a way to resolve issues that previously seemed unresolvable.
- Allow the other side to change their position without looking like they are giving in. People hate to admit they were wrong. Introducing new information, allowing them to blame someone else, changing approaches or changing your position to incorporate aspects of their proposal can allow the other side to gracefully modify their position.
Sometimes negotiations fail because there really is no agreement that satisfies the needs of all parties. More often, negotiations fail because to reach an agreement one party is made to feel like they have lost. Impasses get resolved when you offer the other party a way to agree that allows them to feel like everyone is a winner.
-- Lee E. Miller, an executive coach and trainer, is the managing director of NegotiationPlus.com and author of UP: Influence Power and The U Perspective -- The Art of Getting What You Want (Your Career Doctors Press, 2007).
Life insurance as low as $14/mo for $250,000 or $21/mo for $500,000 of coverage. Contact MetLife®
Comments:
Very well said! Thank you!
There is a win-win to be found in almost every negotiable scenario, but sometimes there are impasses that are impossible to work around. It is this process of finding middle ground and defining that line that is the most mentally taxing and arduous part of the process - both for the negotiating parties, and, in this case, the people from the outside looking in.
The best negotiations advice I have ever received is to treat every agreement, conversation, or "ask" as a negotiable moment. They add up in meaningful ways in work and life and make every party happier because expectations are surfaced and are more likely to be met. http://stepwise.tumblr.com/post/4530030644/make-every-business-moment-negotiable Steph
Excellent tips. Thank you for them. I like giving the idea of giving people --- and their Amygdalae - a chance to relax, the idea to focus on what they have in common, and fashioning a solution that allows both to safe face (very important to prideful men).
I'm really not so into negotiations but it's still important for me to keep these things in mind just in case the times comes when I really need to hold high-stake negotiations. Threats and proposals are two keywords that I have learned and will not forget for my future negotiations in small business. Thanks for this valuable share of information Lee.
Negotiation is based on the premise that both sides will compromise when they want to achieve a mutually beneficial goal. To date all anybody has seen is Boehner struggle to get the House Republicans to actually vote on a resolution, much less pass one. Compromise has been decidedly missing. With the Aug 2nd deadline fast approaching, I would politely suggest that Boehner take his Tea Party bunch and lock them in a closet listening to Barry Manilow tapes for the next week and forget about them so that real people, who have an actual grip on the situation, can sit down, negotiate, and reach a workable compromise that the country can live with. If, and I sincerely hope is doesn't happen, the deadline passes, we all are gonna see the results of a government that is so extreme in its politics that it can't responsibly function. Now, you want to see the results of that when the small and medium size business' start looking for this so-called 'Commuity Bank' money that is supposedly out there not being made available because the banks are suddenly 'scared and unsure of monetary policy' ? Folk's it is not going to be pretty. What's worse is that the writing is already on the wall. What's the old phrase, 'You think education is expensive, see where ignorance and stupidity get you' ? 'Nuff said, I hope !
Very worthwhile take out.