We’re sorry you didn’t get to break the Internet after working so hard. This week should’ve been an exciting one for you. The Life of Pablo was finally released and you had an epic launch party.
You (maybe in the delusion of exhaustion) saw your name -- not just in flashing lights -- but on the exclusive list of names that could last 1,000 years (like Jesus). You even posed as Jesus on the cover of Rolling Stone that one time.
But, the pressure’s starting to show and -- to be blunt -- you have no clue how to be a professional.
Instead of eternal glory, Taylor Swift got sassy on a national stage (though you may have deserved that one) and someone created a GoFundMe for you, pitying your financial situation. Then, to top it off, SNL had to go all “room raiders” on you last minute.
It’s OK. We know it’s hard. How could you know without someone to show you the way to an office-friendly attitude? Which is why, out of the kindness of our hearts, we at Entrepreneur are here to help and pulled some resources to provide some articles and advice that could prove useful down the road. We want to help you be your best self and the great leader we know you can be. Because, we really are good people and we care (sometimes).
If you don’t want to listen to us, at least learn from yourself.
1. Don’t get in your own way.
“I think I do myself a disservice by comparing myself to Steve Jobs and Walt Disney and human beings that we've seen before. It should be more like Willy Wonka... and welcome to my chocolate factory.”
We wouldn’t be good friends if we didn’t explain why posing as Jesus wasn’t best. To better understand our reasoning, we suggest taking a moment to read “When Ego Is the Enemy.”
2. A positive attitude is the right attitude.
“I still think I am the greatest.”
Rewinding a bit to 2005, dissing TSwizzle on national television wasn’t the best career move. But, we’ve got advice on that too. Ya know, if a situation like that should happen again.
3. Get the good kind of attention.
“I will go down as the voice of this generation, of this decade, I will be the loudest voice.”
We know life is tough, especially when you got Kardashian babies at home demanding a healthy diet of designer duds and a fashion line no one seems to think is actually legit.
Though you’ve got the right idea, you did give Swift a chance to talk. And your confidence and couture do exhibit a certain mystic. But it’s a very distinct possibility there are other ways to get people to take you seriously. Off hand, the word humble comes to mind.
4. Keep calm and breathe.
“You know, even a Kanye West has compromised. Sometimes you don't even know when you're being compromised till after the fact, and that's what you regret.”
This letter isn’t to be critical or make you feel bad. You’ve obviously got a lot going on and we give you credit for your success thus far.
However, even if Bush really doesn’t care about black people, there’s a time and a place. But trust us, developing a junk filter will help prevent things such as the great Twitter purge of 2012 ... and all the others. But it also means no more celebrity feuds or paparazzi beatdowns. To help ease the stress, it may help to disconnect every once in awhile. We hear sleeping helps, too.
5. Silence can be golden.
“Sometimes people write novels and they just be so wordy and so self-absorbed.”
As journalists, the importance of the First Amendment and personal brand isn’t lost upon us. Still, we wonder if you ever thought of utilizing a personal journal? It’d also prove useful to study some social-media strategy.
Take a second or two to dig deep into the heart and approach of online responses. Channel your inner sassy-girl if that helps. Seriously, saying it with a smile would actually apply to your case. Actually, it’d probably be a vast improvement. Yeah, just chew like you’ve got a secret.
6. Pick a direction.
“I don't know what's better gettin' laid or gettin' paid.”
We know you’ve got the fam, money and mansion to keep in mind and manage. But it’s like you said on Twitter -- you’re still just the little guy trying to make it and prove yourself.
Wait … now we’re getting mixed messages. Which is it? Try hard or Pablo Picasso? It might be a good idea to ask North West for some direction? Either way, try to pick one that’d help justify the Naomi Campbell-level meltdown you had last weekend before taking the SNL stage.
Actually, nope. Still not OK, Kanye. Not cool.
Honestly, it’s never a good thing if you literally meet the criteria for every single reason why a CEO would need to grow up.
We can’t decide if the tantrum, rants and hyperbolic narcissistic comparisons are promotional or not. As friends who’ve never met, we wanted to let you know you have a problem. Even if you did try to apologize.