Do Your Kids Remember What You Look Like? Entrepreneurs can easily get caught up in the day-to-day of their biz at the expense of family. How do kids take it?
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Peyton Anderson rode his first business to the top of the dotcomboom and, starting about the time his first child was born, backdown again. Since then, the Research Triangle Park, North Carolina,entrepreneur has started another company and adopted twindaughters. But Anderson knows that while he can take another shotat business, he only gets one go-round at parenting. And being anentrepreneur and a parent don't always mix.
"I have three kids 4 and under," says Anderson,who's the 39-year-old founding CEO of Affinergy Inc., a12-person biotech firm projecting $1 million in 2005 sales."And even while I'm singing to them in the bathtub, in theback of my mind, I'm grinding on stuff at work."
Naturally, Anderson has a business plan to make sure Affinergystays on track. Just as naturally, he has a combinationbusiness/parenting plan to make sure he doesn't allow hisentrepreneurial bent to affect his parenting. His main tactic isscheduling work around time spent with the kids on weekends andbefore they go to bed.
"I can do a lot of work from 9 p.m. to midnight using mywireless laptop and sending out e-mails," he says. "And Itry to keep Saturday [open] all day to do things with thekids." He also flexes his schedule to stay home late somemornings and drop the children off at school. "I can come into work at 9:30 one morning, because I know I'll stay late thatnight," he says.
Entrepreneurs are right to be concerned about the effects anentrepreneurial career may have on their children, says Anna BethBenningfield, a Dallas psychologist, family therapist and businessconsultant. Children of entrepreneurial parents risk feelingignored by a parent obsessed with making a startup successful, shesays. "By that, I don't mean just working long hours, butbeing so emotionally invested in the business that there isn'ta lot of energy left for kids and family," saysBenningfield.
While some kids get too little quality time from theirentrepreneurial parents, others may get too much stuff.Entrepreneurs who are financially successful, especially if theycame from a low-income background, may tend to spoil their childrenby giving them too many things. "It comes out of a goodmotive," Benningfield says. "They want their kids to havethe things they believe will make them happy." She points outthat entrepreneurs would be better off helping their children learnto work, save and sacrifice for the things they want instead ofhanding everything over on a silver platter.
Entrepreneurial parents have positive things to offer theirchildren as well as challenges to overcome. "A lot has to dowith the way the kids see their parents dedicate themselves to thebusiness," says Benningfield. Entrepreneurs who involve theirchildren in the venture, by employing them or simply including themin activities such as business trips and days at the office,demonstrate that dedication and commitment can be fun andrewarding.
Long hours at the office can turn into long hours of positiveparenting when entrepreneurial parents make children feel like partof the enterprise. "It's when the parent keeps sayingthey'll come to the ball game and never does that children canfeel deprived and begin to distance themselves from parents,"Benningfield says.
Like many entrepreneurs, Anderson hopes that realizing hisentrepreneurial ambition will someday allow him to be an even moredevoted parent. "I have aspirations of being financiallysuccessful with Affinergy so I can have a lot more flexibility tospend time with my kids," he says. "I hope my son wantsto play [peewee] football, because I've said all my life, Iwant to coach him in that. If we [make] significant money withAffinergy, I can do that."
