How to Get More of What You Want Here are some ways to overcome self-doubt and get what's coming to you.
By Jeffrey Shaw
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Not opening your mind to believing you deserve more is one of the biggest blocks to your success in business and life. It's not until you believe you deserve more that you will receive more.
Without the deserving mindset, you can put in maximum effort and still feel like you're hitting your head against a glass ceiling as you climb toward your goals. Beyond the ceiling, you can see your hopes, possibilities, and everything you want in life and business — but they are just outside of your reach.
L'Oreal had it right all along. Their slogan, "Because you're worth it", is celebrating fifty years in 2021. In 1971, when women were fighting to get what they deserve, most women weren't empowered to spend more than a typical amount of money on hair care products. Apparently, it was the genius of a twenty-something junior female copywriter, Ilon Spect, who came up with the legendary slogan as a way to convince women to spend more on L'Oreal products, cleverly encouraging women to believe they deserved more in order to get them to spend more. Brilliant.
But brilliant because it's true: You have to step into believing you deserve more in order to receive more.
So how might you do that?
Related: 5 Ways to Overcome Self-Doubt as an Entrepreneur
Stop settling, and start expecting
When you don't believe you deserve more, you tend to settle and choose between good fortunes. Everything is a trade-off, you think. You might imagine you deserve a successful business and happy home life but find yourself worrying that you're trading money for time with family, or feeling guilty if you're not working or letting your personal life distract you, as if only hard work can deliver what you deserve. Believe that what you deserve is to get everything you want without sacrifice and settling, and you'll get all things at once.
You might have an idea of some big goal that will provide more of what you deserve, be it money, impact, or fame, but then talk yourself out of it, thinking it's too big for you. You just don't expect it will happen. When you do this, stop and ask yourself: Why do you think someone else deserves that thing and not you? Why should someone else come along and expect, and then achieve, the very thing that's eluding you? If you don't consider yourself just as worthy, and expect good things, asking that question might be all you'll get— instead of what you'd wanted.
Appreciate yourself – stop looking for proof
Take stock of who you really are and your great attributes. Look back at your life and realize what you have already accomplished. You can think of your starting point and where you are today. Do you see growth? Do you see that you currently have more of what you deserve than where you started? If history is any indicator, is there more of what you deserve waiting for you? Yes— Yes, there is.
When we have a limited belief in what we think we deserve, that belief becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. We look for evidence and proof of what we don't deserve instead of proof of the good things awaiting us. "See, this is why we don't have nice things" rings in your head. You have to reverse this way of thinking and step into thinking more along the lines of, "I deserve this." Look for the proof that you're worthy — It's everywhere.
Drop the guilt
As we move forward, we can have a tendency to feel guilty and then regress. As you get more of what you deserve, don't let feelings of guilt pull you back. This is especially true when someone reaches levels of success that enable them to rise above the people around them or where they came from. The guilt of achievement is disabling. You have to drop the guilt in order to move forward and continue to achieve, which is what you deserve when you put in the work.
Related: 7 Ways I Overcame Mommy Guilt to Start my Own Business
Stop comparing, and increase your "deserve ceiling"
What you want and what you feel you deserve are unique to you. Don't get caught up in a game of comparison with others. It will either discourage you because you're feeling like someone else has something you probably don't want anyway, so you don't even try, or you're limiting yourself because the other person's bar is lower than you deserve. Don't compare yourself— just work your butt off and then rejoice in the rewards.
A practical way to step into feeling you deserve more is to incrementally treat yourself to more. Maybe this week you will treat yourself to some nice flowers, for instance — because you deserve it. Next week you will treat yourself to a massage. Perhaps the following week, a fancy dinner. Then, the ultimate vacation you've always wanted. Week by week, increase the capacity of what you know you deserve and, before long, you won't settle for less.
Getting what you want takes two things, the wanting of it, and the knowing that you deserve it. Changing where you end up in life and business, and getting what you deserve, can begin today.
Related: You Deserve to Be a Millionaire
