Love Connections
Thinking about dating someone you work with? Check out these Web sites first.
By Robert J. McGarvey and Babs S. Harrison
Want to meet the love of your life? Go to work. A whopping 80
percent of us report some sort of "social-sexual"
experience on the job, according to Montana State University,
Bozeman psychology professor Charles Pierce, and 55 percent of
respondents to a Society of Human Resources survey said romances in
their company led to marriage, so this isn't frivolous stuff.
Better still, Pierce--who's made a specialty out of studying
mating on the job--says that some office romances "can be
beneficial. Employees channel romantic energy into work
tasks." Surprising? Not with all of us spending longer hours
at the office. That's led to the workplace replacing the gym
and singles bars as the most likely spot to meet a mate. Sound enticing? There are downsides--especially for the
boss--and that's why we've compiled this grab bag of
informative Web links. If your heart beats faster at the sight of
an employee, click your mouse, now, before you get in trouble. Temperatures Rising Content Continues Below
There's no surer proof that attitudes about workplace dating
have shifted than this poll (www.disgruntled.com/amasurve.html)
conducted by the American Management Association. It found 74
percent of respondents think intra-office dating is okay; 21
percent even think it's okay for a supervisor to date a
subordinate. And less than 1 percent of responding companies say
they have a policy that bans all employee dating. Harassment or Fun? Want to lose your business? Ask the wrong employee out on a
date. Any time a supervisor hits on a subordinate, the risks of a
lawsuit escalate. Some bosses just don't want to take the
chance, so no matter what their feelings are, they look outside the
company. But some bosses do plunge into this perilous area. If
you're looking likewise, prepare yourself with the legal ins
and outs: - "What Is Sexual Harassment?"
(www.toolkit.cch.com/text/p05_5165.asp): An excellent analysis of
the current lay of the legal land. Read here for clear explanations
of the most common forms of sexual harassment, including "Quid
pro quo" harassment and "hostile work environment"
harassment, and how to avoid them.
- "Love Contract--Take Two" (www.gutierrez-preciado.com/Memos/romance.htm):
Find another version of an intra-office dating contract at this
site, constructed by Gutierrez, Preciado & House LLP, a
Pasadena, California, law firm.
When Employees Do It You have three choices regarding workplace romances among your
employees: Ignore 'em, ban 'em, or offer up a policy that
attempts to clarify when they are acceptable. Which best suits you
and your business? Read on to learn more. - "The Dating Game Moves to the Workplace" (www.all-biz.com/articles/dating.htm):
Employee relations consultant Ethan Winning gives a thoughtful
overview of the big legal issue--when and how an employer has the
right to intrude into the private life of an employee.
- "Dealing With Office Romance Has Changed With the
Times" (www.amcity.com/albany/stories/1999/08/16/focus4.html):
A reasoned argument by David Olsen, director of a Scotia, New York,
counseling center, that managers should use "systems
theory" to regulate romances. Particularly useful is the
reminder that a romance by any two workers in an office impacts
many more.
Brain Food The Office Romance: Playing with Fire Without Getting
Burned by Dennis M. Powers (AMACOM, $22.95, 800-262-9699). Want
to snuggle in bed with a good read? It's certainly safer, and
if the book is this one, you'll benefit from advice offered by
lawyer Powers, who explains the rules for office romance, offers
suggestions for building personal relationships within the office
based on interviews with hundreds of professionals, and clarifies
the difference between consensual romance and harassment.
Robert McGarvey and Babs S. Harrison met on a business trip
three years ago and they work together today, so how could they
argue against romance in business?
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