Human Resources

The art of polite conversation

Whether the situation is formal or informal, familiar or unfamiliar, in the office or out, feeling more comfortable with your conversational skills will increase the likelihood that you'll make a positive impression, says Randi Freidig, a speaker and trainer in Seattle.

"Most people think of small talk as inconsequential, unimportant and a waste of time, but it's really the opposite," Freidig says. "Small talk helps build rapports and eventually trust. It helps people find common ground on which to base meaningful conversation."

Begin with advance preparation. "Any time you're going to be with people, whether it's at a chamber of commerce event or a wedding, have goals," Freidig advises. Do you want to find a particular resource, identify a prospective customer or expand your horizons in another way?

With your goals in mind, think about what you're going to say--both the questions you'll ask and the answers you'll give. "Inevitably, if you run into people you already know, they'll say `What's new?' And most people say `Nothing,' and drop the conversational ball," Freidig says. Instead, have an answer that will help you start a short conversation. For example, you might say "We just added a new product line, and I'm looking for a sales rep to handle it. Do you know anyone who's available?" You've shared something interesting about your company and opened a dialogue that could produce mutually beneficial results.

This article was originally published in the August 1999 print edition of Entrepreneur with the headline: Human Resources.