As an entrepreneur, no matter how seasoned you are, when someone
says something negative about your business, it stings. In fact,
negative comments have the power to crush ideas before they are
born.
Conventional wisdom says that you should follow your heart and
ignore the naysayers. However, some of the best ideas are born from
unwelcome criticism. Negative comments often contain kernels of
truth-they are just delivered incorrectly. Your mission is to
engage the naysayers, determine what they are basing their comments
on, and discover new information that can help you succeed.
Listening to naysayers is especially important, because in most
people's lives-including my own-the naysayers are family
members and people you love! Your spouse, friends and family want
you to succeed; however, they also want to protect you from
anything that may be difficult. Realize that behind each question
lies the subliminal suggestion of "We love you and don't
want to see you suffer."
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Naysayers are important business allies. Here's how to
engage them in your dream:
1. When people say negative things, respond by asking for
their advice. Repeat their statement back to them, and then
say, "You're right. Achieving success can be difficult.
What would you suggest to make it possible?" As you listen to
their suggestions, their defenses will fall, and their years of
experience will come pouring out. If they don't have an answer,
they probably have contacts who can help you succeed.
2. Let them know you want to hear their ideas. Naysayers
are used to people dismissing them rather than listening to their
ideas. Be sympathetic to this, and give them an opportunity to
respond. Unless you are in a sales situation, don't attempt to
persuade them that you're right, because that makes them
defensive. Your goal is simply to find the truth in what they are
saying and discover new ways to create success for yourself.
3. Compliment them on their suggestions. The easiest way
to turn a naysayer into an ally is to make them feel appreciated.
Be sincere when you tell them what you have learned from them.
It's a rare occurrence for naturally negative types to be
complimented, and it's motivating to them. Compliments will
keep their wheels spinning, helping you develop solutions to your
most vexing problems.
4. Don't take criticism too personally. Criticism
from people we care about cuts a bit deeper. It takes a special
focus to actually hear what they're saying rather than the tone
they're using. Make the extra effort to understand their point
and find something valid in their words.
Expectancy always wins. If you seek solutions from others
instead of dismissing them, the resources you need will
surprisingly be revealed. Engaging naysayers also helps you develop
a strong belief in yourself. You will feel a sense of empowerment
that charges up your business for success.
Editor's note: Looking for our "Countdown to
Startup" series? We've compiled it into one easy-to-use
feature. Click here
to read it.
Speaker and consultant Romanus Wolter, aka "The Kick Start
Guy," is author of Kick Start Your Dream Business.