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Warning: If You Pee on These Walls, They'll Pee Back at You

Warning: If You Pee on These Walls, They'll Pee Back at You
Image credit: IG St. Pauli | YouTube
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Piss off, public urinators. You’re drunk. Go home.

San Francisco’s Department of Public Works is combatting the disgusting problem of tinkling in public with a completely off-the-wall solution -- walls that “pee” back on the jerks who pee on them.

Seriously, officials in the City by the Bay are so fed up with unlawful public urinators that they’ve painted 10 walls in the SOMA and Mission districts with a special liquid-repellent paint that splashes offenders back upon impact, yep, with their own waste stream. Right back atcha, pal. That’ll teach you. We hope.

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"The urine will bounce back on the guy's pants and shoes,” DWP spokesperson Rachel Gordon told Reuters. “The idea is they will think twice next time about urinating in public."

Here’s an eyeful of one of the innovative specialized paint-coated walls in action -- thankfully demonstrated with just water, not actual bladder matter.

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That seven-second messy splash of reality comes to us via San Fran DWP’s Twitter feed, because of course it’s on Twitter. We’re talking San Francisco, after all, a place that historically favors cutting-edge tech solutions -- and clearly no longer suffers public leak-takers lightly, neither man nor his best friend. And neither does the city of Hamburg, Germany, where the world’s first pee-proof walls and sidewalks debuted.

The enhanced industrial paint used in both public urination-plagued cities is called Ultra-Ever Dry, the very same nanotech coating that made Nissan’s recent self-cleaning car prototype possible. Manufactured by Jacksonville, Fla.-based UltraTech International, it’s a remarkably superhydrophobic (water-repellent) and oleophobic (carbon-repellent) coating. When liquids, like tinkle, piddle, wee or whatever the heck you call it, smack into it, pointed and peaked geometric shapes in the paint repel the liquid. Cue the surprisingly forceful -- and brilliantly vengeful -- backsplash and you’re golden.

Will the high-tech paint really curb offenders? Or will it only inspire inebriated punks to urinate on the special walls for shits and giggles? Forgive the lame pun here, but we’ll have to wait and pee.

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Edition: October 2016

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