Join our Waitlist for Expert Advice!

The Importance of Getting Along With Others Not much has changed from childhood playgrounds to the professional workplace.

By Ivan Misner

Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.

Tom Werner | Getty Images

When I was very young, my mother gave me a paperweight that said, "Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else have your way." She went on to say, "Honey, I love you but you are a bull in a china shop; you just run people over. You have to learn how to work with people." This advice was a major influence on me for the rest of my life.

Think back to your elementary school report card and how it graded you on your ability to play well with others. Well, things haven't changed. I believe your success in business, and particularly your success at networking, means that you need to learn how to collaborate -- or in other words, play well with others.

You can't always choose who comes to the playground, and you won't always get a say in who you're working with. You don't have be friends with everybody. You don't even have to like everybody. It's also important to recognize that different personalities add different perspectives and that, when managed well, can actually make a group more productive.

Read This: Networking Like a Pro | Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Apple Books | IndieBound

As I broke down while being interviewed in a recent episode of the BNI Podcast, don't let other people control your actions. This begins with some tolerance, a frequently invoked word that's under-used in practice. Let's discuss a hypothetical Mr. or Ms. Jerk. I'm going to call them "J" for short. Remember, keep your eye on the ball and try not to be too sensitive about the jerk -- I mean J. Here are some techniques that will help you with this process. (The last one in particular is critical.)

  • Listen without arguing.
  • Ask questions. Not argumentative questions, but questions that will give you more insight into J's point of view.
  • Show interest in their point of view. You don't have to agree with it to show interest. Trust me on this one.
  • If you can, get them to focus on the solutions to the issue and not just the problem. If all we do is focus on the problem, we become an expert on problems. Say to them: I get it, I see the issue. Now, the real question: What's a realistic solution. If they offer a lousy solution, then say, "OK, that's one possibility. What's another realistic solution?" Coach them toward calmness.
  • Clear, open, honest and direct communication is the best way to deal with J or other people who are dealing with J. Every time I've had big challenges with people, one side or the other held back in their communication. That doesn't mean unload on people. It means talk to tjhem professionally.

And here are some additional suggestions to be aware of:

  • Make yourself invaluable to people by focusing on solutions.
  • Stay clear of drama and rise above fray by checking your emotions and focusing on results.
  • Don't complain. Be positive. Complaining is not an Olympic sport.
  • Stay aware of your emotions, and don't let others limit your success.
  • Use your support system. Talk to others about the solution.
  • Be a leader, not a leaver.

Related: To Get Along With Difficult People, Try This Research-Backed Approach

Don't let J's craziness drive you in a direction you don't want to go. As Lisa Earle McLeod says in her book, The Triangle of Truth, "I discovered that what actually puts us over the edge towards craziness ourselves is not other people's dysfunctions; it's their denial of their dysfunctions. You know, how they go out acting all normal, and even self-righteous, as if we're the ones who are loopy."

Don't let others to control your success. Leaving an opportunity (or a network) because someone's a jerk gives them leverage over you and it gives them free reign to lord over others. Don't give J. that power.

Ivan Misner

Entrepreneur Leadership Network® VIP

Bestselling Author

Dr. Ivan Misner is a New York Times bestselling author and co-author of the bestselling book, Networking Like a Pro (Entrepreneur Press 2017). He is also the founder and chief visionary officer of BNI, the world's largest referral marketing and networking organization.

Want to be an Entrepreneur Leadership Network contributor? Apply now to join.

Marketing

Stop Relying on AI SEO Tools — These 5 Secrets Will Help You Rank #1 on Google Search

Many businesses use AI-powered SEO tools to boost their website rankings, but they often struggle to see results. The key isn't just in AI; it also involves strategic off-site tactics such as link building, using social media signals, partnering with influencers, and fixing toxic backlinks.

Side Hustle

These College Classmates Started a Side Hustle to Solve a Common Household Problem — Then Scaled It From $0 to Over $50 Million in Under 4 Years

Tumble co-founders Justin Soleimani and Zach Dannett envisioned a better, easier-to-handle kind of rug — so they got to work on it.

Business News

You Have 2 Months to Prepare Your Business for AI Agents. Here's Why!

Get Ready: AI Agents Are Transforming the Workforce Faster Than You Think

Starting a Business

What No One Tells You About Entrepreneurship — 5 Hard Truths

Here are five things you need to consider before becoming an entrepreneur.

Business Ideas

63 Small Business Ideas to Start in 2024

We put together a list of the best, most profitable small business ideas for entrepreneurs to pursue in 2024.

Business News

'Plenty of Room for Startups': This Is Where Entrepreneurs Should Look for Business Opportunities in AI, According to Microsoft's AI CEO

Entrepreneurs may find their niche in a key area of AI intelligence: stopping hallucinations.