⚡ Get All Content for 20% Off ⚡

The Quality of Your Life Depends on Who's In Your 'Room' Ask yourself, if you had to spend eternity with everyone you accepted, whom would you choose?

By Ivan Misner

entrepreneur daily

Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.

What if you lived your entire life in one room? Whoever you want to interact with in life is in that room. You can continually change your room to include any and all of the new possibilities that you might like to have in your life. However, there is one unique feature to this room that will never change – it has only one door. It is a one-way door with a sign that says, "enter only." There is no exit. Whoever is in your room stays in your room forever. Whoever comes into your room and whatever they bring with them, cannot leave – ever. They will remain in your room, with you, forever. If this were true, would you be more selective about the people that you let into your room? When I've asked people this question, I have always received a resounding, "Yes, I would be a lot more selective!"

So, what kind of room have you created? If you live a life with drama all around you, then what people did you let into your life that created that drama? If your life is full of chaos, who was it that brought that chaos into the room? Are there harsh, angry, or toxic people in your room? If so, who allowed them in? Does your life feel frenetic and complex? Could it be that you let too many people (especially the wrong ones) into your room?

Right about now, most people who I've introduced this concept to are having an "OMG moment." I can actually see the wheels turning in people's expressions while they think about the type of room they reside in. One woman I spoke to said, "My life is like the waiting room of an ER. I keep letting in one wreck after another!"

Related: How to Ask a VIP for a Favor

Stop for a moment and think, "Who's in my room?" Take a quick inventory. Ask yourself how you might have lived your life differently had you known that anybody you let into your room might actually be there forever. Then think about how, going forward, you are going to determine which people to let into your room and which you'll keep in the foyer.

The people in your room profoundly affect the view you have of yourself and your life. At this point, it doesn't actually matter how any of the people in your room got there, what came in with them, or whether you can get them out. You may have invited them in or they may have pushed their way in. They may be in your room because they are family or because you think you need them. If they are in your room, one way or another, their presence greatly impacts the quality of your life – for better or for worse.

Going forward you can become vigilant and attentive to who's knocking on your door. You can learn to manage who and what has already gained entry. You can set better guidelines that determine who you let inside, as well as how to manage the current occupancy and what they brought with them.

Related: 5 Keys to Making a Great First Impression

You might not be able to permanently eject people or things that are already in your room but you can definitely – permanently – change how those people and things occupy your space.

The quality of your life is a direct reflection of who is in your room. How you manage who you let into your room, your life, or your network is very important. How do you go about choosing who you let in? The answer is a "metaphorical" doorman or a conscious awareness of your values and passions. Do you know what they are? If not, you need to spend time thinking about the values you hold dear and the kind of people you want to be around. Nobody gets in who doesn't meet your personal values. Ask yourself, "Are there people close to me that don't live my values now? Would I have let them in if I had thought about this concept before letting them close to me?"

This concept fits perfectly with building a powerful personal network. The people we bring in close to us should be people we want to work with. They should be people who share our values and our passions. Understanding this simple concept can help us choose between a person who we think has a skill set we need vs a value set we wish to emulate.

We design the room with the people we live in. We can do that consciously or we can do that by happenstance. The choice is ours. "Who's in your room?" Knowing this concept now – what would you do differently in the future? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Related: How to Make New Connections Anywhere You Go

Ivan Misner

Entrepreneur Leadership Network® VIP

Bestselling Author

Dr. Ivan Misner is a New York Times bestselling author and co-author of the bestselling book, Networking Like a Pro (Entrepreneur Press 2017). He is also the founder and chief visionary officer of BNI, the world's largest referral marketing and networking organization.

Want to be an Entrepreneur Leadership Network contributor? Apply now to join.

Side Hustle

The Remote Side Hustle a 43-Year-Old Musician Works on for 1 Hour a Day Earns Nearly $3,000 a Month: 'All From the Comfort of Home'

Sam Ziegler wanted to supplement his income as a professional drummer — then his tech skills and desire to help people came together.

Marketing

Ever Wonder Why Certain Websites Rank Higher Than Yours? This SEO Expert Reveals The Secret to Dominating Search Results

It's often the smart use of SEO, now supercharged with AI, particularly in keyword optimization.

Franchise

The Top Franchise Brands Growing Globally

While our main Fastest-Growing Franchises list focuses on North American growth, more and more brands are looking to grow worldwide. These are the 25 that had the greatest franchise growth outside the U.S. and Canada from July 2022 to July 2023.

Business News

Dollar Tree Is Closing 1,000 Family Dollar Stores

Dollar Tree acquired Family Dollar in 2015 for an estimated $8.5 billion.