If you want to be successful in generating referrals, it's
crucial to find out as much as you can about the members of your
network. And there are five critical things that you must know if
you truly want to be a productive networker. These five things are
not mysterious secrets; they're actually facts we're
exposed to every day but often pay little attention to because
we're not aware of the benefits we can gain by sharing them. In
our book, Business by Referral, Robert Davis and I call this
sharing--the GAINS Exchange:
- Goals
- Accomplishments
- Interests
- Networks
- Skills
If you know the GAINS categories and use them effectively, you
can strengthen your relationships, create strong organizations, and
live a more rewarding, productive and enjoyable life. Of course,
the exchange is a two-way street: Not only should you know these
things about others, you should share the same type of information
about yourself with them.
Goals
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Goals are the financial, business, educational and personal
objectives you want or need to meet for yourself and for the people
who are important to you. They could be problems you want to
resolve or decisions you need to make, either immediately or down
the road.
Whatever they are, you need to clearly and specifically define
your own goals and also have a clear picture of the other
person's goals. Indeed, the best way to develop a relationship
is by helping someone achieve something that's important to him
or her. If you do, they'll remember you when you need help
achieving your own goals. You'll become valuable sources for
each other, and your relationship will endure.
Accomplishments
Some of your best insight into others comes from knowing what
goals they've achieved, what projects they've completed,
and what they've accomplished both for themselves and for
others. Accomplishments, whether as student, employee, organization
member, parent, friend, sports fan or neighbor, tell you more about
a person than any number of intentions or attitudes.
People like to talk about the things they're proud of.
Engage your network members in casual conversation; encourage them
to talk about their accomplishments. Sharing your accomplishments
may lead to fortuitous surprises, such as a mutual interest or a
connection that can be beneficial for both of you.
Interests
Your interests--the things you enjoy doing, talking about,
listening to or collecting--can help you connect with others.
People are more willing to spend time with those who share their
interests or know something about them.
Knowing other people's interests makes it easier to help
them in some way. Let them know your interests as well; if you and
your contact share many of the same interests, it will strengthen
your relationship. Don't forget that your passions are your
most important interests. A passion is something you love to do,
something you could do all day long without encouragement or
prodding from others.
Networks
A network starts with any group (formal or informal),
organization, institution, company or individual you associate with
for either business or personal reasons. Most business people have
a broad network of contacts. The question is, how well cultivated
are those contacts?
There's an old saying that goes, "It's not what you
know but who you know." Well, I believe that it's not
"what you know" or "who you know"--it's
"how well you know them" that makes a difference. Each of
us has sources in abundance that we don't effectively
cultivate. Each member of your network is part of several other
networks; each of your prospective sources is connected, directly
and indirectly, with hundreds, even thousands of people you
don't know. If you can tap the resources represented by your
network of contacts, you can significantly increase your return on
investment in networking.
Skills
The more you know about the talents, abilities and assets of the
people in your network, the better equipped you are to find
competent, affordable services when you or someone you know needs
help. Think about what you do well and identify the special skills
you have; exchanging this information will help business
relationships grow as well.
Recording the GAINS You
Discover
There are several ways to gather information about these five
topics from your prospective network members or anyone else you
deal with. To do so, you should listen, observe, ask questions,
review written material, ask others and of course… share your
GAINS.
To help you in this process, use the form at this URL
to complete your GAINS Profile and the GAINS Profile of people in
your network that you would like to know better. If you think that
getting to know the GAINS of the people you deal with is too easy
and you need a greater challenge, take the quiz at this URL to
test your knowledge of each member of your network:
As you discover the GAINS of the people you're interested
in, keep a record; otherwise, you're likely to forget important
information. Use the GAINS Profile (or whatever database you
utilize) to record the facts you learn about your most important
contacts. Spend more time with the people you already know,
particularly with those you believe you want to know better.
Concentrate on learning these five essentials--their goals,
accomplishments, interests, networks and skills. Find overlapping
areas of knowledge and interest. Make sure you give back the same
kind of information. The more they know about you, the faster your
name will come to mind when an opportunity arises in which your
products, services, knowledge, skills or experience might play a
part.
Ivan Misner is co-author of the New York Times
bestseller Masters of Networking. He is the founder and
CEO of BNI, the
world's largest referral organization with more than 2,400
chapters in 13 countries around the world. He also teaches business
courses at California State Polytechnic University, Pomona, and
resides in Southern California with his wife and three children.
Dr. Misner can be reached at misner@bni.com.