The Positive Power of Saying 'No'

It can be tough to decline opportunities, but in many cases it can lead to good results.

learn more about Stephen Key

By Stephen Key

Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.

Why is saying no so hard? In my personal and professional relationships, I have a difficult time turning people down, even when there are good reasons I should. I'm not completely sure why so many of us feel this way, but I think it has something to do with our culture. We respect busyness. We're in awe of people who seem like they do it all. We want to please.

But over the years, turning opportunities down that aren't a good fit for me has been far more beneficial than I could have possibly imagined. It takes courage to be true to yourself -- to admit when you're not willing, uninterested, or simply want better.

"No, this job isn't right for me."

"No, I don't want to live here -- I want to live somewhere prettier."

"No, I want a bigger salary."

"No, this relationship isn't healthy."

Related: Make 2014 the Year You Reach for Your Goals

What if you hurt someone's feelings? What if this business opportunity never comes along again? Who are you to think you deserve more? But the truth is, when we stretch ourselves thin, we're not helping anyone. I've discovered that when we're willing to say no, we create an opportunity for a frank, open discussion of what we do want. And the only way to get what you want is to let it be known.

When I've walked away from a business deal, nine out of 10 times the company has come back to me with a better offer. That's right -- 90 percent of the time. At first, I was shocked to discover this. I had more power than I realized! In the movie, American Hustle, there's a scene where Christian Bale's character says, "If you tell them 'no,' they will keep coming back for more." He's right.

When you turn someone you down, explain why. If you're dealing with a personal relationship, consider writing down your thoughts first. Be concise and to the point. Don't make excuses and don't be afraid to slow things down if you think they're moving too fast. You will be surprised to discover there's usually a second offer waiting for you. But some situations just aren't meant to be. If you gut tells you to walk away, do it. Rarely has a situation I felt unsure about gotten better, unfortunately.

In telling the truth, you set the stage for a more meaningful, fruitful relationship. The people you work with will respect your courage and honesty. It will give you strength and confidence.

It's easier to say no when you have other options. Hold out for positive relationships that will help grow your business in the right direction. Looking back, most of the business relationships I said yes to when I should have said no turned out poorly anyway.

Embrace the freedom you have to say no! You will be surprised at all of the positives that result.

Related: Find More Work With These 4 Pointers

Stephen Key

Entrepreneur Leadership Network Contributor

Co-Founder of inventRight; Author of One Simple Idea Series

Stephen Key is an inventor, IP strategist, author, speaker and co-founder of inventRight, LLC, a Glenbrook, Nevada-based company that helps inventors design, patent and license their ideas for new products.

Related Topics

Editor's Pick

Everyone Wants to Get Close to Their Favorite Artist. Here's the Technology Making It a Reality — But Better.
The Highest-Paid, Highest-Profile People in Every Field Know This Communication Strategy
After Early Rejection From Publishers, This Author Self-Published Her Book and Sold More Than 500,000 Copies. Here's How She Did It.
Having Trouble Speaking Up in Meetings? Try This Strategy.
He Names Brands for Amazon, Meta and Forever 21, and Says This Is the Big Blank Space in the Naming Game
Travel

6 Secret Tools for Flying First Class (Without Paying Full Price)

It's time to reimagine upgrading. Here's how to fly first class on every flight, business or personal.

Business News

These Are the Most and Least Affordable Places to Retire in The U.S.

The Northeast and West Coast are the least affordable, while areas in the Mountain State region tend to be ideal for retirees on a budget.

Leadership

How to Use Async Work as a Launch Pad to Become an AI-Fueled Organization

Companies that fully adopt async work and the data that it provides can use this as a launchpad towards greater AI-fueled efficiencies.

Real Estate

Free Webinar | April 20: Success Secrets of Six-Figure Real Estate Agents

Join our free webinar as real estate entrepreneur Aaron Kirman shares the strategies and tactics you need to master for success in real estate today. Register now →

Management

What the Rise and Fall of Crypto Can Teach Us About Managing Distributed Teams

Decentralized autonomous organizations (DAO) present a new way to organize teams.