Get All Access for $5/mo

This Simple Observation Technique Can Improve Your Communication Skills Sharí Alexander explains how to figure out someone's vibes.

By Natalie MacNeil

Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.

When we think about being an "influencer," we usually think of people speaking from stages, beaming out blog posts to thousands of adoring readers, or racking up millions of followers on Instagram.

But what if you could influence someone in your next conversation? The barista at your favorite coffee shop. Your mom. Your team members or colleagues. A stranger on Facebook.

Here's the thing we usually don't consider: Influencers don't just beam out proclamations from mountaintops. They're on the ground with their people and their customers every day, learning what makes them work, what they value and what the need most.

Sharí Alexander joined me to give you some fantastic tips on learning to connect more deeply with anyone you speak to, so you can have more consistently positive, informative, and impactful conversations everywhere you go.

She believes it's not about what you say when you walk into a room. It's about knowing the right thing to say, to the right person, at the right time, based on what you learn about them in the moment.

While she was formerly a speech and presentation coach, she's now turned her focus to training entrepreneurs on the gift of the gab -- including tips and tricks she's learned from ex-CIA agents and con artists.

Check out today's video to learn more about:

  • Who you should focus on when you walk into a team meeting

  • How to change your teaching approach based on who you're working with

  • How a new technique can make you a better observer of humans and a stronger influence

While you're watching Netflix this week, use Alexander's "V.I.B.E.S." technique to analyze one of the characters. Remember: V.I.B.E.S. stands for:

  • Values: What do they like and dislike? What drives them? What do they care about?

  • Identifiers: Who do they think they are? How do they label themselves?

  • Beliefs : What stories do they believe about themselves, or the way they handle problems? What do they believe about someone you?

  • Emotional triggers: What puts them in a positive or negative moods?

  • Secret goals and desires: How do they envision themselves in the future? Who do they want to be? How do they want to be perceived?

Flex your observation muscles by writing down a character's V.I.B.E.S. a soon as the episode ends (don't wait "til tomorrow! You'll forget!).

The goal of this challenge is to help you start to notice these V.I.B.E.S. in everyday interactions, in the real world too, so you can learn more about how people operate, what they need, and how you can help them and build a strong rapport.

I'll be doing the same! So don't forget to update me on your progress on Instagram and Facebook.

Related: Learn to Speed Read and Retain More Information

Natalie MacNeil

Author and Emmy Award-winning media entrepreneur

Soaring inspiration and practical advice for your business + life, with Emmy Award-winning media entrepreneur Natalie MacNeil. Fly, baby, fly. For more inspiration and advice for your business + life, be sure to stop by SheTakesOnTheWorld.com.

Want to be an Entrepreneur Leadership Network contributor? Apply now to join.

More from Natalie MacNeil

Daily Habits That Will Help Increase Productivity

This Simple Observation Technique Can Improve Your Communication Skills

Learn to Speed Read and Retain More Information

Improve Your Spine and Feel Amazing

Editor's Pick

Starting a Business

How to Find the Right Programmers: A Brief Guideline for Startup Founders

For startup founders under a plethora of challenges like timing, investors and changing market demand, it is extremely hard to hire programmers who can deliver.

Business News

How Nvidia CEO Jensen Huang Transformed a Graphics Card Company Into an AI Giant: 'One of the Most Remarkable Business Pivots in History'

Here's how Nvidia pivoted its business to explore an emerging technology a decade in advance.

Business Ideas

63 Small Business Ideas to Start in 2024

We put together a list of the best, most profitable small business ideas for entrepreneurs to pursue in 2024.

Leadership

Why Hearing a 'No' is the Best 'Yes' for an Entrepreneur

Throughout the years, I have discovered that rejection is an inevitable part of entrepreneurship, and learning to embrace it is crucial for achieving success.

Business News

Want to Start a Business? Skip the MBA, Says Bestselling Author

Entrepreneur Josh Kaufman says that the average person with an idea can go from working a job to earning $10,000 a month running their own business — no MBA required.