To Improve a Situation Immediately Stop Exaggerating How Bad It Is

Sometimes the best option still sucks. Telling yourself you're the victim of circumstances makes it worse.

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By Sarah Vermunt

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Like your mother said, watch your language!

What you say about your business and career choices matters. This includes your internal dialog.

I have a client who is choosing to stay at her government job for an another year while she saves up some extra cash to fund her business. Security is important to her, so building a big financial cushion before she starts makes her feel safer. The thought of jumping without a safety net gives her hives, so she crafted a plan that feels good. Slow and steady.

She told me about her freedom plan and then she said, "I guess I'll just have to suck it up for a year."

Related: 5 Ways to Rekindle Your Optimism After You Crash and Burn

"Now hold it right there, lady," I said. "You just came up with an awesome plan to build a business in a way that feels good to you. Does it really feel like you're sucking it up?"

"No", she said. "But you know what I mean."

The language she used to describe her decision to keep her job for the next year took the wind right out of her sails, so we worked on a reframe. She came up with the following: "I'm choosing to stay in my job for another year so I can fund The Dream."

Ahhh. Doesn't that sound better than sucking it up?

Sucking it up feels crappy. It makes you feel powerless, victimized, defeated. Choosing something, and really owning it, comes from a much more empowered place. Small shift, big difference.

Related: Entrepreneurs: Your Irrational Optimism Is Necessary

Own the choices you make around how you build your business. Claim them. Stand in them. Using defeated language will only make you feel…you guessed it…defeated.

Now, language alone isn't going to cut it if you're lying to yourself.

If your job crushes your soul and you have no exit plan, all the flowery language in the world isn't going to make you feel good about it. It will probably make you feel worse. Lying to yourself always feels bad. That's why some people have trouble with affirmations. For many, they feel like empty words projecting fake optimism.

Can't find any authentic positive language to frame your career choices? Then your problem isn't your language, my friend; it's your choices. And there's only one solution for that: stop making career choices that feel bad.

Related: This Mind Trick Works Way Better Than Delusional Optimism

Sarah Vermunt

Careergasm Founder

Sarah Vermunt is the founder of Careergasm. As a career coach, she helps people quit jobs they hate so they can do work they love.

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