Get All Access for $5/mo

The Dream Job Is a Myth. Focus Instead on Living Your Best Life. You find your true calling by explore opportunities for happiness and growth.

By Jon Levy Edited by Dan Bova

Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.

Dougal Waters | Getty Images

We're told to follow our dreams, pursue our passions and be extraordinary. But what if we haven't yet figured out what we're meant to do?

We millennials were told we can be anything we want. Unfortunately, that unlimited encouragement also can feel a lot like pressure. We attach a sort of failure stigma to ourselves if we're not 100 percent in love with our jobs or doing everything in our power to turn our dreams into reality. For the millions of people who don't know what they want to do, this can be major source of embarrassment and shame.

Believe me when I write this simple but freeing statement: "It's OK if you don't know what your dreams look like. Few of us do."

Related: You Don't Need to Be Perfect

It's crazy to expect we'll know our path when we enter college at 18 or graduate at 22. The human brain doesn't even fully develop until age 25, so cut yourself some slack. Understand these basic truths, and you'll find the pressure ease a bit as you naturally move in the direction you're meant to go.

We are terrible predictors of our own happiness.

In his book "Stumbling on Happiness," researcher Daniel Gilbert offers this example: When we're in the checkout line, we might believe buying and eating a candy bar will make us happier. Five minutes later, though, we usually regret the impulse purchase and feel guilty about indulging ourselves.

If we can't predict what will make us happy five minutes from now, how can we possibly forecast what will make us happy in five years? Gilbert suggests we stop thinking we're so smart and unique. The best predictor? We should speak to other people who currently do what we're considering.

Related: Success vs. Happiness: Don't Be Fooled Into Thinking They're the Same.

We should expose ourselves to diverse experiences.

How can we know we'll enjoy something if we've never tried it? Even if we think an activity or career isn't a fit, it could still be worth exploring. Studies have proved diversity in experiences and personal networks can foster creativity and innovative thinking. It also gives us the advantage of developing a wide range of skills and knowledge from which to pull inspiration in the future.

Related: How to Find Your Passion in 5 Creativity Exercises

We must seek positive social interaction.

Social interaction is the second biggest influence on happiness, right after sleep. Even social interactions with the barista at the coffee shop or the cashier at the store will impact our well-being. We evolved as social animals. Ignoring that biological drive is like trying to ignore gravity. It's going to catch up with us.

It's important we choose our connections carefully. The people in our network influence us and our entire community. Negative emotions and habits are contagious, but so are positive ones. Researchers from Harvard University and the University of San Diego found that each positive or "happy" friend in person's network increases by 9 percent that individual's own chances of being happy. Can we have successful lives without people? Let's consider those closest to each of us. Are they adding or subtracting from our lives?

Related: How to Improve Your Networking Skills

We can re-create the new-job phenomenon.

People starting a new job always seem to say the same things when they describe why they're enjoying the change. Here's one: "I'm learning a lot."

Research suggests human beings enter a state of optimal enjoyment when we're highly engaged in an activity. And we tend to be most engaged when we're doing something that lies just beyond our skill set. If it's too hard, we fail. If it's too easy, we're uninterested. The key is finding a balance and pursuing opportunities that offer consistent growth.

Related: The 6 Best Lessons I've Learned in Life So Far

We admit that loving work is a myth.

Speaking of things people always say, here's an obnoxious quote I hear almost constantly: "If you love your job, you'll never work a day in your life." This is beautifully inspirational but unrealistic. The idea that it never will feel like work is a myth for most of us. Maybe a handful of people in the world can achieve this zen, but any job comes with a few terrible aspects. For instance, we might admire people who travel for work but then find it's never what we expected if we end up on the road for a job.

I travel a lot for speaking engagements and to attend Influencers Dinner events. My schedule ramped up even more when I was researching "The 2 AM Principle: Discover The Science of Adventure." Although the stories were wild, many of my nights weren't. There's nothing glamorous about spending time alone on planes and in hotels, living in a perpetual state of exhaustion and arguing with airport employees about lost luggage.

A famous pop star, a top-of-game CEO and a rising tech entrepreneur all can identify positives and negatives that are intrinsically linked to their careers. Once we're willing to accept this truth, two things happen:

  1. We stop holding ourselves to some unrealistic expectation.
  2. We gain the freedom to deal with the negatives in the career (or careers) we choose.

Related: 10 Business Leaders' Favorite Quotes That Will Motivate You and Eliminate Excuses

We must keep looking for the idea that will inspire us and seeking out environments where that spark can ignite. I encourage you to explore as many industries and opportunities as possible. In the process, you'll learn what engages you the most and helps you grow personally as well as professionally.

Jon Levy

Human Behavior Scientist, Author, and Founder of The Influencers Dinner & The Salon

Jon Levy is a behavior scientist best known for his work in influence, networking and adventure. He is founder of the Influencers Dinner and author of a new book called The 2 AM Principle: Discover the Science of Adventure.

Want to be an Entrepreneur Leadership Network contributor? Apply now to join.

Leadership

Why Your AI Strategy Will Fail Without the Right Talent in Place

Using fractional AI experts through specialized platforms allows companies to access top talent cost-effectively, drive innovation and scale agile strategies for growth.

Business News

Here's What the CPI Report Means for Your Wallet, According to JPMorgan and EY Experts

Most experts agree that there will be another rate cut next week.

Business News

These Companies Offer the Best Work-Life Balance, According to Employees

The ranking is based on Glassdoor ratings and reviews.

Productivity

6 Habits That Help Successful People Maximize Their Time

There aren't enough hours in the day, but these tips will make them feel slightly more productive.

Science & Technology

Use This Framework to Successfully Integrate AI Into Your Business Operations

Here's how to ensure both innovation and compliance when using AI in your organization.