No-Flirt Zone

When someone flirts with you, don't get mad . . . getprofessional.

"Your husband must be very proud of you." When GildaPiccoli hears that phrasefrom a man, she knows exactly what'shappening.

"He's flirting with me," says the owner ofWarwick, Rhode Island, IDKPromotional Specialty Co., which imprintscompany logos on creative promotionalproducts. "I run acrossthis all the time. I do a lot of trade shows, and whenI'm inthe booth, men come up to me, acting as if they're interestedin theproduct. But they really want to know more about me--mybackground and whetherI'm married."

Instead of getting angry and confrontational, Piccoli firmlysteers theconversation back to business. And that's exactlywhat she should do, saysMarina Grant, president of GrantCommunications, which specializes inemployment law and conflictresolution. When someone makes an improper comment,"You needto proceed in a professional way and show you're not shaken byhisunprofessional behavior," says Grant.

Here's Grant's advice for dealing with unprofessionalbehavior:

* Ascertain whether the action is truly an improper advance.People from othercultures have different customs that could bemisinterpreted.

* If you're not sure whether the behavior is inappropriate,try to clarify whatthe person is doing. For instance, if theindividual is touching his lips, youcould ask, "Do you want meto lower my voice?"

* If someone brushes against you, apologize and say, "Ididn't mean to bumpyou."

* Try to acknowledge behavior that is appropriate andthank the personfor his professional manner.