Gwyneth Paltrow’s fiercely polarizing lifestyle brand Goop looks to be steaming mad as criticism and comparisons surrounding the site have reached a fever pitch.
And on the heels of news that Snoop Dogg and Stephen Colbert are launching their own lifestyle brands -- the former a cannabis-themed media hub called Merry Jane and the latter a parody called Covetton House for The Late Show -- Goop has fired off a deliciously venomous blog post welcoming each of the guys to the space.
“It’s about time someone brought a sausage or two to this clam bake,” begins the biting entry, entitled ‘6 Fail-Proof Tips For Launching a Men’s Lifestyle Site.’
Many of Goop’s suggestions poke fun at its own reputation for being elitist and out of touch. After getting burned for a past post about vaginal steaming, for instance, Goop suggests that Snoop and Colbert “get ahead of the curve and write about a growing craze among men, anal bleaching” -- recommending a treatment at New York’s Face to Face spa, where “gentle fruit acids will be applied to your balloon tie.”
“Evergreen beauty content is SEO gold -- and you can link-bait the shit out of it,” Goop adds, suggesting that the guys author a six-page slideshow about man-buns. “We style ours with Psssssst Dry Shampoo and Abilene oil from sharks."
But if there is a hint of truth in every joke, some of the quips seem to echo Paltrow’s rather sober responses to past criticisms surrounding Goop. She told Time magazine in June, for instance, that comparisons with other actress-entrepreneurs like Jessica Alba, Blake Lively and Reese Witherspoon were “slightly misogynistic” given the different nature of each of their businesses.
“I wonder if George Clooney would be asked about Puff Daddy’s ancillary liquor line,” she said. (It should be noted that Entrepreneur drew precisely this comparison last June when Justin Timberlake and P. Diddy announced competing artisanal tequila brands.)
But Goop’s blog post tackles this perceived double standard in a stinging tone that also, for the first time, suggests that the company doesn’t take itself so seriously: “Stephen, why not try to shark some of Snoop Dogg’s readers? After all, the media world will be eagerly awaiting a cat fight from you two lifestyle doyennes!”
Props to Goop for shrewdly flipping the script, and for finally realizing that, if you’re going to evangelize the virtues of $5,000 gold-plated juicers and the emotional layers of “conscious uncoupling,” it helps to have a sense of humor.