Crushing It? More Like Crushing Me. How One Missed Flight Stopped Me From Burning Out.
Constant travel, trade shows, 5 a.m. starts, 16-hour days and late-night drinks with partners had left me spent.
Tech startups have a storied culture of breakneck-paced work and personal sacrifices. The industry is led by individuals who have proudly made their work their life, whatever the cost. The frantic energy of this lifestyle is exciting, and the image of it is alluring. But, make no mistake, it's also unrealistic and dangerous.
In 2013, I launched a video feedback technology company, Voxpopme. We've quickly scaled to employ 50 people across three continents, raising millions from angel investors and VCs. We've also accumulated a client list including many Fortune 500 brands. On the exterior, everything looked great. But, in July, after over 45 solid days on the road, the happy accident of a missed flight reminded me of just how much I was missing by keeping this schedule.
The day before I needed to be in Nashville, Tenn., for a client meeting, followed immediately by two weeks of travel in the U.K., I missed my flight to London. Looking at my laptop to re-book, I felt overwhelmed and was overcome with a need to stop, to take a break, to escape. I had already worked through the majority of a family vacation just a few weeks earlier. Constant travel, trade shows, 5 a.m. starts, 16-hour days and late-night drinks with partners had left me spent. After thriving on the adrenaline of constant work for months, something had changed. I was absolutely dreading it. I just wanted to be at home. I missed my wife, my kids, even just sleeping in my own bed.
I canceled the rest of my trip and, after returning home, I had a period of intense reflection where I learned a lot about myself, and about the unforgiving pressure that entrepreneurship can cause. Fortunately, this learning experience only came at the cost of a plane ticket. But, I'd like to share the lessons learned. Others in my shoes have pushed themselves past where they should and paid a higher price.
Lesson 1: There are no CEO superheroes.
I've come to realize the impossibility of becoming one of those romanticized, non-sleeping startup CEO geniuses. This class of person did not exist in the first place.
The myth of the superhero-CEO is common because it serves a potent marketing goal. As the Wall Street Journal noted in June, "Powerful founder-CEOs who were once lauded for flouting convention are facing a new reality: They aren't superheroes, after all. Treating them as if they were has been bad for their companies and investors alike."
The myth's danger, as the Journal article states, is because it is the root of the misplaced confidence in companies like Theranos, where Elizabeth Holmes's purported genius was used to silence the company's critics. This myth gave former Uber CEO Travis Kalanick too much leeway for malfeasance, encouraged by the idea that he was somehow irreplaceable.
For upstart CEOs like myself, this is an unhealthy example to follow. Rejecting needs like sleep and family time left me burnt out. I didn't see it coming because I had on blinders, in pursuit of this unattainable image.
Lesson 2: When you are your business, your health is your business's.
Re-grouping in Utah, I sat down with one of my mentors, Lonnie Mayne. He had seen this coming. He said I had been maintaining a schedule that was bad for relationships, my family and -- yes -- bad for business. Having one person as the lynchpin of an entire company is unhealthy for all involved.
Ariana Huffington has recently expanded her career to study this phenomenon, promoting a restful-but-successful lifestyle in the wake of personal tolls that came with running The Huffington Post. After seeing Elon Musk humblebrag on TV about his lifestyle of 100-plus hour workdays, she wrote him an open letter asking him to see the error of his ways.
Quoting a critical passage: "After 17-19 hours without sleep, we begin to experience levels of cognitive impairment equivalent to a blood alcohol level of .05 percent, just under the threshold for being legally drunk. No business leader would hire people who came to work drunk, so don't model that behavior for your employees."
The startup world is one where one bad decision can undo thousands of man-hours of hard work. Burning the candle at both ends drastically increases the odds of this happening.
Lesson 3: Take what you love and write it down.
In the midst of this regroup, I told my mentor Mayne about the guilt I felt when I wasn't working. Often, I'd sit down to watch a football match but internally beat myself up for not focusing on my enormous to-do list. If I wasn't working, I wasn't happy.
In response to my company's to-do list, Mayne suggested developing one of my own. We started by writing a list of everything that mattered to me: friends, family, fitness, health, watching sports, snowboarding. To ensure balance, we broke them down into my primary focus for that month and things that were important and needed attention but were not a top priority. I shared this with my wife and our executive team so they understood where my focus was.
Finally, I weighed my personal list against my company's and made some real concessions to ensure I would be able to prioritize both. I completely restructured my schedule for the rest of the year, switching from 80:20 travel to 20:80, and committing to being more present with my family and using my time more effectively to lead the business.
This ties back to Lesson 2, as a part of this involved delegating some areas of the business to my team. Rather than worry about keeping up with everything as the company grows, I'm proud knowing that I've put together a team that is capable of stepping in to share the burden.
There comes a point in a company's growth where it's no longer possible to maintain the "startup grind" that was once necessary for survival. This isn't a negative! This is a sign things are moving in the right direction.
Lesson 4: You're not alone.
Finally, I decided to write about this experience on LinkedIn. Initially, I was worried: What would my team think, how would existing and prospective investors react ... would people think I was weak?
I couldn't have been further from the mark.
My inbox was flooded with messages of support. I even had a VC email me to share that he had realized this lesson too late at his startup and had paid a heavy personal price as a result. Two months on, I'm more productive than ever before. I have more energy and a much clearer vision for the company. All while working fewer hours, focusing my time in the right place and not neglecting the people most important to me. Ultimately, I've managed to find a balance and make sure that I'm winning without losing.
If my story feels like yours, take a moment to evaluate your next three months and focus on the things that really matter. Odds are, you've already surrounded yourself with people who have the ability and know-how to deliver the things you thought too important to let go. Trust them to help your company achieve sustainable growth and watch yourself grow as a result.