The Negotiator

Just as strong is the word we often use to describe goodcoffee, tough is the word we often use to describe goodnegotiators. There's a definite advantage to being known thisway; it immediately reduces your opponent's expectations. Somemay soften, others will try harder; but in this competitive worldof business, they will all respect you for not being a softtouch.

Toughness is partly about your game face, but it's alsoabout technique. When you're called on, or choose, to take thehard line, here are some ways to strengthen your game:

• Don't talk too much. Be terse. The less you say, the lessyou reveal about your own position. The less you say, the more youcan listen for weaknesses or opportunities.

Use the power of silence--it tends to make the other sideuncomfortable. In fact, many would rather tell you where thetreasure is buried than tolerate these awkward moments.

• Be stingy with your concessions. It can really grind youropponents down. Make them work for their supper. They may tire orskip dessert, the appetizer or even the main coursealtogether.

If you must give, give just a little, and get something back inreturn--even if it's their agreement to take an issue off thetable.

• Be firm. No means no. As they say in the movies,"Resistance is futile." If you don't want to give apoint, make your opponents feel like they just hit the wall. Youwill not be perceived as a jerk, so long as you offer a plausibleexplanation for your position.

• Stake out issues that are non-negotiable.
• This is classic. By framing an issuethis way, you make it twice as hard on the other side. Before youeven address their concern, they must first persuade you toentertain it.

• Don't care too much. Desire is the fulcrum at thebargaining table. Persuading your opponents that their deal justain't that important is the ultimate attitude adjustment.Theywill not pester you with unending demands if they sense you're30 seconds away from blowing them off.

• Keep things moving. Don't let your opponents backtrack onyou. Once an issue is settled, it's settled. Be supremelyefficient and businesslike. Your opponents must feel that your timeis precious and that you do not suffer fools at all.

• Play to your advantage. If you've got more experience, makesure your opponents know it. If you can crush them with your cardfile, drop a few names. If you know your opponents are in a hurry,take your time.

• Stay focused. In detailed negotiations, mental stamina is atremendous asset. Victory goes to the dogged. It's just likesports. Stay strong through the finish. The last person standing atthe bargaining table is the one with the greatest power ofconcentration.

A speaker and attorney in Los Angeles, Marc Diener is authorof Deal Power.